Category: Best of the Bestiary

  • Homonculus: Fullmetal Alchemist Joke

    Unfortunately, this version of a homonculus is significantly less interesting or terrifying than what we saw in that series. Lore: Making a Pet There really isn’t much to say here. A homonculus is a little animated creature made with clay, ash, mandrake root, and blood. They share a telepathic bond with their master and make…

  • Hobgoblins: Goblins, But Tall… And Red

    They break before our shields,They fall beneath our blades;Their home is ours to conquer,Their children our slaves.Acheron! Acheron!Victory is ours! Translation of a hobgoblin war chant After three monsters with barely a page dedicated to them, we’ve got a collection that takes up three whole pages all to themselves! Hooray! My job just got so…

  • Hippogriff: Prisoner of Azkaban Joke

    Did anyone know what a hippogriff was before that book? Or was this a commonly known monster? I don’t know, I grew up in a post-Harry Potter world. Lore: Majestic Animals That’s all these guys are, really. Just cool animals to populate your fantasy world. Not much is known about hippogriffs. Their origins are magical…

  • Helmed Horror: Animated Armor, But Better

    Well, it’s horrifying. But at least it’s safe! I mean, it’s wearing a helmet! …that might be the worst joke I’ve ever written. I’m genuinely sorry about that one. Lore: How May I Serve? A more advanced form of animated armor, the helmed horror is an ever loyal and intelligent servant. Though it requires more…

  • Hell Hound: Satan’s Best Friend

    It’s kind of odd to see this guy so late from the actual devil section of the book. I mean, it’s a hell hound! Hell is literally the most important thing about it! Lore: Predators of the Nine Hells There really isn’t much here. These are more of a spice than a main dish. They’re…