Helmed Horror: Animated Armor, But Better

Well, it’s horrifying. But at least it’s safe! I mean, it’s wearing a helmet!

…that might be the worst joke I’ve ever written. I’m genuinely sorry about that one.

Lore: How May I Serve?

A more advanced form of animated armor, the helmed horror is an ever loyal and intelligent servant. Though it requires more magical power to create, it requires less management, as it is capable of handling tasks on its own. They’re even smart enough to differentiate intent from the wording and work to fulfill the former. It’s also highly tactical, always aiming for the weakest member of a party or a spellcaster. However, it lacks the wits necessary to manipulate its environment.

Not exactly the most interesting lore in the world. All it really does is serve as a setup for a minion fight. Is the party going up against some kind of wizard? Put them up against a Helmed Horror. Want to tell a story with your monster? Pick something else.

Design: Animated Armor 2.0

I like to imagine that someone stuck a red slime into a suit of armor and called it a day. Yes, I know it’s smoke. But I thought it was something jelly-like at first and I’m sticking with that.

What am I supposed to say here? It’s armor. The menacing red smoky light is kinda cool. But aside from that, there is nothing to talk about.

Although the armor itself is kinda cool.

Stats: So What You’re Saying Is That I’m Indestructable?

This isn’t a complicated monster. It has a sword and it can slash at you twice with it. Aside from that, it has literally nothing else to offer. The fight is very straightforward and boring.

Especially given that this fucker is basically invincible.

If you aren’t attacking with magical or adamantine weapons, it will resist every melee strike you make. It’s immune to just about all conditions It’s also completely immune to force, necrotic, and poison damage; sorry, necromancers. Not to mention it has advantage on all magical saving throws.

It’s also got complete immunity to any three spells of the creator’s choice. Does your party abuse fireball or lightning bolt a lot? Make this fucker completely immune to them! That ability alone makes this monster the perfect fit for crushing a wizard’s ego!

Aside from that, this is a very straightforward and boring monster. Its massive list of resistances and immunities make it more annoying to fight than challenging. Hope your players are patient. Because they’ll need it.

Placement

This is a really forgettable monster. It has one interesting ability and that’s it. Aside from that, it’s got boring lore, a meh design, and annoying stats. It has its uses in a campaign, but they are limited.

With all that in mind, let’s put the Helmed Horror on the Best of the Bestiary!

1. Beholder
2. Death Tyrant
3. Dragon Turtle
4. Green Dragons
5. Red Dragons
6. Blue Dragons
7. Black Dragons
8. White Dragons
9. Silver Dragons
10. Couatl
11. Behir
12. Aboleth
13. Sea Hag
14. Bronze Dragons
15. Brass Dragons
16. Copper Dragons
17. Gold Dragons
18. Chuul
19. Gibbering Mouther
20. Chimera
21. Death Knight
22. Fomorian
23. Bone Devil
24. Dracolich
25. Faerie Dragon
26. Night Hag
27. Green Hag
28. Ankheg
29. Storm Giant
30. Hill Giant
31. Empyrean
32. Efreeti
33. Grimlock
34. Dao
35. Cloud Giant
36. Drow (all four of ’em)
37. Shadow Demon
38. Marilith
39. Drider
40. Aarackockra
41. Azer
42. Demilich
43. Spectator
44. Marid
45. Harpy
46. Half-Dragon
47. Cambion
48. Fire Giant
49. Animated Armor
50. Banshee
51. Basilisk
52. Yochlol
53. Bulette
54. Cloaker
55. Darkmantle
56. Doppelganger
57. Ghoul and Ghast
58. Ettin
59. Pit Fiend
60. Erinyes
61. Chain Devil
62. Bearded Devil
63. Barbed Devil
64. Spined Devil
65. Ice Devil
66. Djinni
67. Nalfeshnee
68. Glabrezu
69. Chasme
70. Grell
71. Barlgura
72. Horned Devil
73. Balor
74. Shadow Dragon
75. Vrock
76. Dretch
77. Gnolls (all three)
78. Goristro
79. Hezrou
80. Manes
81. Frost Giant
82. Duergar
83. Quasit
84. Dryad
85. Flumph
86. Goblin
87. Githyanki
88. Planetar
89. Imp
90. Clay Golem
91. Flameskull
92. Displacer Beast
93. Carrion Crawler
94. Githzerai
95. Grick
96. Rug of Smothering
97. Bugbear Chief
98. Bugbear
99. Flesh Golem
100. Vine Blight
101. Twig Blight
102. Needle Blight
103. Bullywug
104. Hellhound
105. Ettercap
106. Gas Spore
107. Cockatrice
108. Lemure
109. Solar
110. Deva
111. Gorgon
112. Griffon
113. Cyclops
114. Centaur
115. Ghost
116. Fire Elemental
117. Water Elemental
118. Air Elemental
119. Stone Giant
120. Deep Gnome
121. Dinosaurs (All six of them)
122. Iron Golem
123. Stone Golem
124. Earth Elemental
125. Galeb Duhr
126. Helmed Horror <———————–
127. Flying Sword
128. Crawling Claw
129. Violet Fungus
130. Shrieker
131. Gargoyle