Best of the Beastiary, D&D

Helmed Horror: Animated Armor, But Better

Well, it’s horrifying. But at least it’s safe! I mean, it’s wearing a helmet!

…that might be the worst joke I’ve ever written. I’m genuinely sorry about that one.

Lore: How May I Serve?

A more advanced form of animated armor, the helmed horror is an ever loyal and intelligent servant. Though it requires more magical power to create, it requires less management, as it is capable of handling tasks on its own. They’re even smart enough to differentiate intent from the wording and work to fulfill the former. It’s also highly tactical, always aiming for the weakest member of a party or a spellcaster. However, it lacks the wits necessary to manipulate its environment.

Not exactly the most interesting lore in the world. All it really does is serve as a setup for a minion fight. Is the party going up against some kind of wizard? Put them up against a Helmed Horror. Want to tell a story with your monster? Pick something else.

Design: Animated Armor 2.0

I like to imagine that someone stuck a red slime into a suit of armor and called it a day. Yes, I know it’s smoke. But I thought it was something jelly-like at first and I’m sticking with that.

What am I supposed to say here? It’s armor. The menacing red smoky light is kinda cool. But aside from that, there is nothing to talk about.

Although the armor itself is kinda cool.

Stats: So What You’re Saying Is That I’m Indestructable?

This isn’t a complicated monster. It has a sword and it can slash at you twice with it. Aside from that, it has literally nothing else to offer. The fight is very straightforward and boring.

Especially given that this fucker is basically invincible.

If you aren’t attacking with magical or adamantine weapons, it will resist every melee strike you make. It’s immune to just about all conditions It’s also completely immune to force, necrotic, and poison damage; sorry, necromancers. Not to mention it has advantage on all magical saving throws.

It’s also got complete immunity to any three spells of the creator’s choice. Does your party abuse fireball or lightning bolt a lot? Make this fucker completely immune to them! That ability alone makes this monster the perfect fit for crushing a wizard’s ego!

Aside from that, this is a very straightforward and boring monster. Its massive list of resistances and immunities make it more annoying to fight than challenging. Hope your players are patient. Because they’ll need it.

Placement

This is a really forgettable monster. It has one interesting ability and that’s it. Aside from that, it’s got boring lore, a meh design, and annoying stats. It has its uses in a campaign, but they are limited.

With all that in mind, let’s put the Helmed Horror on the Best of the Bestiary!

  1. Beholder
  2. Death Tyrant
  3. Dragon Turtle
  4. Green Dragons
  5. Red Dragons
  6. Blue Dragons
  7. Black Dragons
  8. White Dragons
  9. Silver Dragons
  10. Couatl
  11. Behir
  12. Aboleth
  13. Sea Hag
  14. Bronze Dragons
  15. Brass Dragons
  16. Copper Dragons
  17. Gold Dragons
  18. Chuul
  19. Gibbering Mouther
  20. Chimera
  21. Death Knight
  22. Fomorian
  23. Bone Devil
  24. Dracolich
  25. Faerie Dragon
  26. Night Hag
  27. Green Hag
  28. Ankheg
  29. Storm Giant
  30. Hill Giant
  31. Empyrean
  32. Efreeti
  33. Grimlock
  34. Dao
  35. Cloud Giant
  36. Drow (all four of ’em)
  37. Shadow Demon
  38. Marilith
  39. Drider
  40. Aarackockra
  41. Azer
  42. Demilich
  43. Spectator
  44. Marid
  45. Harpy
  46. Half-Dragon
  47. Cambion
  48. Fire Giant
  49. Animated Armor
  50. Banshee
  51. Basilisk
  52. Yochlol
  53. Bulette
  54. Cloaker
  55. Darkmantle
  56. Doppelganger
  57. Ghoul and Ghast
  58. Ettin
  59. Pit Fiend
  60. Erinyes
  61. Chain Devil
  62. Bearded Devil
  63. Barbed Devil
  64. Spined Devil
  65. Ice Devil
  66. Djinni
  67. Nalfeshnee
  68. Glabrezu
  69. Chasme
  70. Grell
  71. Barlgura
  72. Horned Devil
  73. Balor
  74. Shadow Dragon
  75. Vrock
  76. Dretch
  77. Gnolls (all three)
  78. Goristro
  79. Hezrou
  80. Manes
  81. Frost Giant
  82. Duergar
  83. Quasit
  84. Dryad
  85. Flumph
  86. Goblin
  87. Githyanki
  88. Planetar
  89. Imp
  90. Clay Golem
  91. Flameskull
  92. Displacer Beast
  93. Carrion Crawler
  94. Githzerai
  95. Grick
  96. Rug of Smothering
  97. Bugbear Chief
  98. Bugbear
  99. Flesh Golem
  100. Vine Blight
  101. Twig Blight
  102. Needle Blight
  103. Bullywug
  104. Hellhound
  105. Ettercap
  106. Gas Spore
  107. Cockatrice
  108. Lemure
  109. Solar
  110. Deva
  111. Gorgon
  112. Griffon
  113. Cyclops
  114. Centaur
  115. Ghost
  116. Fire Elemental
  117. Water Elemental
  118. Air Elemental
  119. Stone Giant
  120. Deep Gnome
  121. Dinosaurs (All six of them)
  122. Iron Golem
  123. Stone Golem
  124. Earth Elemental
  125. Galeb Duhr
  126. Helmed Horror <———————–
  127. Flying Sword
  128. Crawling Claw
  129. Violet Fungus
  130. Shrieker
  131. Gargoyle

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