I’ve been playing a lot of ‘Helldivers II’ recently. What can I say? I love spreading Democracy and blowing up bots! I’m basically addicted to what is essentially a ‘Starship Troopers’ simulator.
But I must confess: I’ve never actually seen ‘Starship Troopers.’ Not all the way through, at least. I saw a portion of it at a friend’s house back in high school, but we didn’t sit down to watch the whole thing. Still, that one portion, as well as the film’s reputation online, gave me enough to know what kinda movie it was, so I made the comparison in my review of the game.
Now, I aim to fill that gap in my cinema encyclopedia. Today, we’re gonna watch ‘Starship Troopers,’ this time from beginning to end.
The movie immediately sets the stage with an opening propaganda film. Join the Mobile Infantry and kill space bugs! It’s a fun way to deliver exposition and establish the tone of the film. Satirical fascism, violence and gore, giant bugs, everything you need to know is presented to you within the first three minutes.
We also get a pretty good sense for how the film looks. Surprisingly, for 1997, this movie still looks pretty good! The blend of models, props, and CGI makes the bugs look suitably convincing yet alien and bizarre. Yes, you can definitely tell that it’s a nearly thirty year old movie; not all the CGI is perfect. But by and large, it still stands up to the test of time. The production crew put in some seriously good work!
Cut to a year in the past, and we meet our protagonist: Johnny Rico, played by Casper Van Dien, getting distracted in class while his teacher gives us the rundown of this sci-fi society. Democracy failed, violence is good, perform your civic duty, fascism, fascism. While Rico can quote the text from memory, he’s more focused on scoring with his girlfriend, Carmen, played by Denise Richards, than he is learning about his totally-not-corrupt government.
Also another girl, Dizzy, played by Dina Meyer, is mad thirsty for our boy. Like, to a problematic degree. But Rico is determined to ignore her, so for now, we shall do the same.
After some public humiliation by his friend Carl, played by Neil Patrick Harris, and a bug dissection that forces Carmen to make a nauseous retreat, Carl tests Rico for psychic abilities. Rico has none, but Carl can tell his pet ferret what to do.
When I first saw this, I was really interested. Psychic shenanigans? That could take the story in some cool directions! Alas, I was disappointed. Carl is the only psychic character, and he disappears for basically the entire movie. You could cut this part of the plot and you’d lose basically nothing except a few throw away lines of dialogue.
But forget about missed potential! There’s a football game on, and the enemy team’s quarterback, Zander, played by Patrick Muldoon, is putting the moves on Carmen! He and Rico butt heads, Rico’s team wins, and Zander walks away in humiliating defeat.
The next day, Rico gets into a tux and for his school’s graduation dance. But not before his parents chew him out; he wants to join the military with Carmen, but they want him to go to Harvard. Seems like not everyone is brainwashed into patriotism and bug-murder.
Yet.
Despite his parents’ pleas, Rico does end up joining the military with Carl and Carmen. Although those two are off to better prospects; Carl’s psychic powers have given him the fast track to the top, Carmen is set to become a pilot, and Rico is consigned to be a basic grunt in the Mobile Infantry. Even so, the three make an anime-style promise to always be friends, although they’ll all be a galaxy apart.
Some more propaganda/world-building later, and we join Rico in basic training, led by the brutally abusive Sergeant Zim, played by Clancy Brown. And would you look at that? Dizzy stalked him transferred into his unit. A fact that does some serious damage to Rico’s fragile ego.
Even more so when she utterly humiliates him in every single training exercise. And in the shower. More so that last one.
There is a genuine sense of comradery among the Mobile Infantry. They all sleep together, shower together, give each other shit almost non-stop, it’s basically a military college fraternity. A very loud, rambunctious, space military fraternity. Most members barely get a few lines of dialogue, but you quickly grow to care for them as a group.
Meanwhile, Carmen is flying ships in space and having a grand ol’ time. She’s even got a stalker of her own: Zander. But I’m sure that won’t go anywhere; she strikes me as the loyal type.
Back with the Infantry, Rico makes squad leader (with help from Diz, who very clearly should be the actual leader here, but military patriarchy and all that). But it’s not all good news. Carmen sends him her first recording, and… breaks up with him.
Yikes.
I love how the rest of the recruits react to this. When he gets the message, they’re all hooting and nudging and making fun of him. But when they realize what she’s saying, they all immediately shut up and disperse. Again: genuine comradery.
Poor Rico’s luck isn’t turning anytime soon. During a live-fire training exercise, one of his squad mates gets the top of his head blown open due to his incompetent leadership. He’s stripped of command, reprimanded by Dean Norris for being Heisenberg an idiot, then gets bound and whipped in front of everyone.
*One thing I really like about this scene is how Zim reacts. Up to this point, he’s been an entirely unlikable bastard. But when Rico is getting tied up for a lashing, he shows him some empathy and gives him a small helping hand. It makes the drill sergeant a much more interesting and likable character.
While Rico is failing, Carmen is thriving. She’s proven herself as a pilot, rising up the ranks, getting closer to Zander, it’s all going great. Until a big ol’ asteroid pulls them in and damages their communications tower.
Rico isn’t doing so good. Having taken his licks, he’s calling it quits and going home. If nothing else, at least he still has a pair of loving parents waiting for him.
Until that giant meteor that wrecked Carmen’s ship hits Earth and wipes said home and family off the face of the planet. No going home now. It’s time for a good ol’ fashioned war for revenge!
Which means more propaganda! Watch some kids stomp roaches! Yay! Fascist military dictatorships!
Despite this newfound purpose, unity seems to be the last thing on humanity’s mind. Or at least on Rico’s. After a tense reunion with Carmen, he and Zander get into a fist fight. It seems his old friendships are now a thing of the past. But at least he’s still got his infantry bros; they even get tattoos together!
It’s time to land and kill some bugs! Their first obstacle: entering the planet itself. Plasma erupts from the atmosphere, taking down several Federation ships. Carmen is consumed in a fiery explosion (which she’ll later shrug off with just a small cut), while Rico and the Mobile Infantry touch down, screaming for bug blood.
Thus begins the first real battle of the movie. It goes about as well as you’d expect. Turns out, a college frat bro attitude isn’t going to save you from a horde of carnivorous insects the size of horses. Shortly after the battle begins, the order to retreat is called.
The VFX team really shows off their flare for gore here. People get impaled, they lose limbs, blood is everywhere, it’s brutal. To top it all off: Rico is declared KIA.
Except he’s not, he’s in a hospital recuperating, so… someone keeping the records went and fucked up. Though to be fair, with the casualty numbers, it’s a fair mistake to make.
Having survived, Rico, Diz, and Ace (I haven’t mentioned him yet; he’s played by Jake Busey) are transferred to a new unit: the Roughnecks. They’re tough, they’re loyal, and they’re brutal. The perfect military fighting force. All lead by Rico’s old teacher, played by Michael Ironside.
Thus the war rages on. With a new strategy and a new unit, Rico’s luck finally begins to turn. He’s quickly promoted to Corporal, and in turn, Diz is promoted to Squad Leader. Which means it’s time to celebrate!
So Rico and Diz almost immediately get down and dirty. Let this be a lesson, kids. If you wanna hook up with someone, stalk them through the military. If you don’t get court martialed, you’re doing it right.
Anyways, back to marching along and killing bugs. Their objective: secure a nearby compound. When they arrive, however, all they find waiting for them are the rotting bodies of the dead. Along with a new, dangerous variety of bug. The brain-eating kind.
Oh, but the general manning the post survived. I mean, he lost his mind, but he’s alive. Though he doesn’t stay that way for long, with how quickly a horde of bugs attack.
Just as they’re about to be overwhelmed, the evac ship arrives, piloted by Carmen and Zander. But they’re too late. Both the Lieutenant and Diz are killed in action. Thus the last of Rico’s innocence dies.
One funeral later, and Rico, Carl, and Carmen are reunited. Turns out, Carl was the one who ordered the mission, even knowing the chances of survival were slim to none (in his defense, he didn’t know Rico’s squad would be deployed). But they gathered valuable intel: a brain bug, one of their leaders, is on that planet. If they can take it, they’ll gain valuable data for the rest of the war effort.
Rico, now the leader of the Roughnecks, leads his new team on this final mission. But it’s not off to a great start. Up in orbit, Carmen’s ship takes a direct hit, the captain is killed, and they’re forced to abandon ship, putting Carmen and Zander right into the heart of bug territory.
Luckily, Rico’s Roughnecks are nearby for the rescue. Not so luckily, this is still ‘Starship Troopers.’ Both pilots are killed before the ground forces even get the chance to organize.
Until the next scene, where Rico gets a… feeling that Carmen is still alive. It’s later revealed that Carl is communicating with him telepathically to guide him, but that doesn’t make any sense. What, did the Federation plug him into Cerebro?
Forget about that and focus on the creepy brain bug. It looks amazing, perfectly blending CG and model animation. It also eats Zander’s brain like a milkshake. Relax, nothing of value was lost.
Before Carmen can meet the same fate, Rico and the squad arrive to save the day. And by save the day, I mean nuke the shit out of the bug hole. Rico, Carmen, and Ace escape, Zim captures the brain bug (he’s here too, I guess), and the mission is a success. One more bit of propaganda, and the movie ends with the war continuing to rage on.
Honestly, it’s kind of a lackluster ending. In that nothing really ends. Sure, Rico and Carmen have both completed their arcs, but the actual conflict of the story is still going. The war rages on, with our heroes still front and center.
But that’s kinda the point. Remember: this whole movie is fictional propaganda in a fictional universe trying to get people to enlist in a fictional war. Throughout the film, we get little hints that perhaps humanity is, in fact, responsible for the bug aggression in the first place. All of these concerns are shrugged off completely, because sympathy is not patriotic! In that sense, it makes sense that the movie wouldn’t actually end the war; can’t keep the military machine going if the war is over!
Of course, that’s all subtext. Incredibly interesting subtext, but it’s still lesser to the main point of the film. That point being: “Isn’t shooting alien bugs in space cool?!” It’s dumb fun first, biting satire second.
Which is probably why this movie’s legacy still endures even to this day. That, and the one-liners. Seriously, this is one of the most quotable movies I’ve ever seen! “Zim got the bug, man! Zim got the bug!”
I quite enjoyed my time with ‘Starship Troopers.’ Intense and gruesome action, likable characters, great quotes, strong visuals, it’s a fun and wild movie that still holds up to this day. If you are like me and haven’t checked it out yet, I’d recommend giving it a shot. It’s not for everyone, but if it is for you, I’ll bet you’ll love it.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to get back to my own battlefront. We gotta take back the Creek!
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