Rocky V Betrayed Me

Y’all remember the final fight of the first movie? Remember that one scene where Apollo just shakes his head in complete exhaustion and disbelief when Rocky gets back up? That’s me. I’m Apollo Creed right now.

*Not four hours after I wrote this… RIP Carl Weathers.

I didn’t even know Rocky V existed. Most of my knowledge on the series came from one of my former roommates, a big ol’ movie nerd. Of all the hundreds of movies on his shelves, he only had Rocky 1-4. On top of that, I’d never seen anyone talking about this film online. Going in, I had absolutely no idea what to expect.

What I got was one of the most interesting and upsetting movie-watching experiences I’ve ever had.

You know the drill by now. The movie opens up with a recap of the final fight in Rocky IV. This time around, they merge it with the opening credits, giving us some monochrome slow-motion to introduce the various members of the cast. Not an impressive start, but not a bad one by any means.

The first actual scene of the movie sets a very different tone from the other films. In his post-match shower, Rocky starts to have an anxiety attack. Adrian rushes to his side to comfort him, but something’s deeply wrong with our champion. He’s in a daze, even confusing Adrian for Mickey.

Returning home, Rocky is reunited with his son – who has spontaneously aged five years, don’t worry about that – and holds a press conference. The reporters want to know if there’s anything wrong, even bringing up a recent movement from medical professionals to get boxing banned. Here, we’re introduced to George Washington Duke, a promotor who quickly takes over the conference to challenge Rocky to yet another match. But Rocky dodges the question, wraps things up, and dips.

It’s also in this scene that I notice something rather obnoxious about this movie. People talk. A lot. Like, a lot a lot. They basically never stop. The instant one character stops yapping, another one starts. And half the time, the dialogue is absolutely nonsense. Thankfully, this problem becomes less of an issue a bit deeper into the film, but it makes these opening scenes really obnoxious.

Anyways, Rocky has a moment alone with his son. For, like, the first time in any of these movies. It’s kind of a sweet scene, seeing a father banter with his adolescent son over girls. It’s surprisingly genuine and heartfelt. Not bad.

But things quickly turn from sweet to bitter. Turns out, Paulie was tricked by a sleazy accountant to have Rocky sign over to him Power of Attorney. Now said accountant has made a terrible financial gamble and cost Rocky his fortune. They’re in debt and they need money.

*There’s a scene here that bothers me. Paulie mentions that Rocky can do commercials again to make money, but Rocky says that ‘isn’t him’ and that he’s a fighter. Which was his arc in the second movie. Which was thrown away by the third and completely ignored by the fourth. So… which is it? This dude’s finances are giving me whiplash.

It looks like things are taking a Rocky II kind of turn. Rocky needs to get back into the ring and make some cash. Just one problem: after all his years of fighting, Rocky’s brain has seen some massive trauma. To get back into the ring is to risk his life. And that’s not a risk Adrian is willing to take.

So he retires. They sell the house and all their belongings, then moves back into the neighborhood they lived in back in the first movie. Rocky even digs out his old outfit.

I have mixed feelings on this. On one hand, it’s pretty blatant backtracking. The writer’s clearly wanted to put Rocky back in the ‘underdog’ position by any means necessary. On the other, it’s a damn sight more interesting than his happy family life in his big expensive mansion.

Although I do miss Paulie’s robot wife.

Returning to Mick’s old gym, Rocky reminisces on his late mentor. It’s actually a really sweet and kinda sad scene. It feels like a son remembering an important lesson from his father. Combined with the beautiful music, it’s not a bad moment at all!

The Balboa family tries to make do with what they got. But George Washington Duke wants more. Calling Adrian, he tries once again to convince her to let her husband fight, but Adrian shuts him down with cold efficiency. Much to Duke’s annoyance.

Honestly, I really like Duke as an antagonist! In front of a crowd, he’s all smiles and booming personality. He’s a showman. But behind the scenes, he’s cold, callous, and selfish. To him, boxing is a business, not a sport. He’s got no respect for fighters like Rocky or Creed, or even his own client. More than that, he’s manipulative, knowing exactly which buttons to push. It’s a refreshing change of pace from the usual Rocky bad guys and it works really well for this story.

Until it doesn’t.

It’s also nice to see Adrian take an active role in the plot this time. For the last few movies, she was basically just a spectator who gives the occasional pep talk. Here, she’s the one pushing back against Duke the hardest. It’s actually a solid direction to take her character; the once shy and reclusive Adrian has learned to be loud and fierce to defend her family. I like it a lot!

The following morning, Rocky takes his son and Paulie down the street. Growing up rich, Rocky’s son doesn’t have much in terms of street smarts, so Rocky and Paulie are going back to their roots to teach him how to get by in their new environment. As they stroll, they pass by several familiar faces and old hang out spots; it’s a literal stroll down memory lane. It almost feels like a scene from Rocky 1, and I mean that as a compliment. The dialogue is decent, it’s a decent-looking long take, the acting is strong from every character, it’s not bad!

Shortly after dropping his son off at school, Rocky is ambushed by Duke in the streets. And to my amazement, there’s actually a line here that got a laugh out of me. Not a mocking or confused laugh, but a genuine giggle!

The mirth doesn’t last long. Adrian quickly rushes to Rocky’s side and tries to drive Duke away. After taking one last jab at the couple, Duke departs, leaving Rocky and Adrian alone to have a serious conversation. It’s a surprisingly heavy scene.

Hold on a second. We’re getting good scene after good scene. There’s some decent drama so far and some witty dialogue. I’m actually having a pretty decent time watching this so far.

Do I… actually like this movie?

No! No, no, no, no, no! I refuse to believe it! Something’s gonna go wrong! At some point, this is gonna spiral out of control and turn into a dumpster fire! It’s not a question of if, only when!

Anyways, Rocky’s kid gets mugged.

But forget about that! Rocky’s opened Mick’s old gym up again! One of the new faces, a bruiser names Tommy, takes the sparring a little too far. Kid’s got potential, and he’s looking for a manager to help him reach it. Alas, Rocky doesn’t see himself as manager material. This story is starting to go in an interesting direction!

Then we cut back to Robert and his new love interest. Oh boy, teenage romance! Just what my Rocky movie needed!

To be fair, it’s not an awful scene. Neither actor is doing a bad job and the dialogue could be worse. So far, it’s not bad. But if any plotline in this movie is gonna ruin it, something tells me it’s gonna be this one.

That night, Rocky is faced once again with his would-be student, Tommy. Who is basically just a Rocky fanboy. Again, it’s a surprisingly sweet scene. Rocky’s self-esteem is plummeting fast, and this kid is looking at him like he’s a hero out of a story book. Finally, Rocky caves and decides to become his manager.

This is actually a fairly interesting story! Rocky becoming a manager, raising the next champ to take on a corrupt manager and his would-be champ. At the same time, you’ve got his kid learning to come into his own, getting some jealousy over his Dad’s newfound student. It’s a great setup for family drama and fits Rocky’s character pretty well!

Alas, that’s not what we get.

This is where the movie really starts to drag it’s feet. We get scene after scene of Tommy’s meteoric rise to fame and Robert’s growing feeling of neglect and jealousy. But it doesn’t go anywhere.

Until, finally, something happens. Seeing Tommy’s rise, Duke swoops and starts poisoning his mind with dreams of wealth and fortune. Rocky’s pupil is being swayed to the dark side.

Anyways, who wants an incredibly awkward family Christmas scene? Paulie’s in a bad Santa costume, Rocky is bumbling sweetly yet awkwardly, and Robert finally reaches his boiling point. He lets his Dad have it, then storms off with his friends. As if that wasn’t bad enough, Duke swings in and steals Tommy away. Rocky tries to patch things up with his son and talk sense into Tommy, but it doesn’t work.

Now Rocky’s at rock bottom. His son is gone, his student is gone, and he’s losing it all. He and Adrian get into a massive fight on the street. Again, I’m honestly shocked by how powerful this scene is.

It, and the next one. Rocky tries to set things straight with Robert. It’s an awkward conversation for the both of them, with Rocky bumbling his way through it earnestly and Robert being an angsty teenager. But they both earnestly try to work things out. It certainly helps that a beautiful piano track plays to punctuate the scene. Yet another solid scene.

Finally, it’s time for the championship bout. Tommy VS generic boxer #22. But Rocky’s not in the ring. He’s watching the fight back home in his basement.

Something interesting happens here. While Tommy fights, Rocky gets worked up and starts hitting his punching bag. As the fight carries on, it rapidly cuts between the actual fight and Rocky’s fists meeting the bag. It’s a clever bit of visual storytelling, highlighting how Rocky is trying to relive his glory vicariously through Tommy.

Until Tommy thanks not Rocky, but Duke for his victory.

It’s a fairly effective betrayal that works pretty well with the themes of the story. Rocky tried to recapture his glory through Tommy, and Duke stole that away. But now, since working things out with his family, Rocky now has a support group to get him through the pain. It’s pretty good writing.

Just one problem here: a complete lack of subtlety. The crowd boos Tommy for… abandoning Rocky. Because sports audiences definitely care about the manager and not the athlete. Even the announcer calls him out! What, did they all read the script? Is all of America somehow privy to the Balboa family’s drama?

The next scene is just flat out stupid. During a press conference, reporters call Tommy out for not being a ‘real’ champion. Like they’re all boxing experts that actually care about the sport. Because that’s what reporters do, right?

This leads to the dumbest development ever. In order to prove himself as a ‘real’ fighter, Duke convinces Tommy that he’s got to challenge the best of the best. He’s got to fight Rocky himself.

So he goes to the bar, punches Paulie, and gets into a street fight with Rocky.

*In all fairness, I do like that Paulie is the one to stand up to Tommy on Rocky’s behalf. He was the one who urged Rocky to train the kid, and now that he’s betrayed them, he’s livid about it. Considering that Paulie is usually an insufferable asshole, it’s nice to see him actually stand up for his friend.

What follows can only be described as the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen. A brain-damaged Rocky has a weird dream sequence about previous opponents, even seeing himself bleed to death, all while Mick encourages him to get back up. Then the Rocky theme kicks in, Rocky gets up, and they finish the fight.

And the fight fucking sucks! You can’t see any of what’s happening, it goes on for way too long, and it devolves into a stupid wrestling match. It completely abandons all of the themes and character development this entire god damn movie was building up the whole time, as well as the series core identity as a boxing movie! It’s not satisfying, it’s not exciting, and it’s not entertaining!

There it is. There’s the fall. When, not if, remember?

It’s especially upsetting because this movie had the skeleton of an amazing story here! It could have been a great story about a former champ leaving his glory behind to train the next generation! About Rocky teaching Tommy that passion, not money, is what makes champions, and Rocky could have left the ring behind to be happy with his family! We were so close! It was almost amazing!

I’ve never been betrayed by a movie before. But here we are. The plot thread I thought I’d hate was actually great, and the one I thought I’d like went to shit. Just as I was starting to actually like this movie, it plunged a knife into my back!

But let’s not end on a negative note. I’ve got one last bit of positive praise for this movie. And that’s in the credits.

Yeah, I know. I’m desperate, okay? Leave me alone.

In all seriousness, the credits feel like a love letter to the Rocky series. We get a collage of all the best moments from the previous films, complete with heartfelt thanks and everything. It’s a nice note for the series to finally, finally end on.

Except that it doesn’t. There’s still one more Rocky movie ahead. Then a whole new trilogy after that!

*Sigh* I don’t s’pose the bell’s gonna ring anytime soon… Get me outta here, coach, these things are killin’ me!