Resident Evil Village: Wait, there’s a game attached to this vampire milf?!

Everyone lost their shit over vampire milf, only to discover that she only takes up about 20% of the game. Capcom giveth, Capcom taketh away.

Resident Evil: Village (or RE8) is a jack of many traits, master of few. As a horror game, it’s only scary about 25% of the time. As an action game, it’s only exciting about 10% of the time. It’s flaws are never so dramatic that they ruin the experience. It’s still a decent game. But it didn’t quite live up to my hopes.

You once again play as Ethan Winters, protagonist of RE7. After Chris Redfield murders his wife and kidnaps his baby daughters, Ethan finds himself in a deserted village populated by mutated monsters. Now, in order to find his daughter, Ethan must survive yet another gauntlet of horror and violence.

By which I mean he needs to run away from unkillable monsters while clutching his severed hand in his other hand.

The story of this game is… meh. It’s fine. It doesn’t have the cheesy charm of some of the other entries or the genuine dread of entries like RE2 Remake. It’s a fine, if a bit forgettable, RE story.

My main problem is with the dialogue. It’s all just so lame, for lack of a better word. Ethan’s lines are either ‘what the hell’ or a groan-inducing one-liner. The side characters often sound stiff and awkward, and the villains are often cartoonish in their delivery. Sure, it’s not like The Room. But it isn’t genuinely good or fun in a cheesy way. It’s just kinda annoying.

Speaking of villains: they’re alright. Each one is decently creepy and intimidating in their own way. The huge variety between them is a nice touch. One minute, you’re being chased by a ten-foot tall vampire milf. The next, you’re playing a murderous game of hide-and-seek with a Tim Burton looking puppet. They constantly throw new things at you, which is a lot of fun. Even if the characters themselves are only memorable due to their designs.

That’s probably the strongest aspect of the game: variety. It’s constantly throwing new things at you. From classic Resident Evil style gameplay to some Silent Hill/PT shit to an action FPS, this game is an ever changing rollercoaster ride. That can be a disadvantage at times, though; if you go into this game just for that classic RE feeling, then you won’t get much of it.

This variety does lead to some fun twists and turns in the story, though. The climax of this game is nuts, featuring some cool Resident Evil fanservice that comes swinging out of left field! The big reveal is pretty uninteresting, but the big twist after that is pretty cool. And it all comes to an end in a surprising and decently powerful ending.

It’s a very take it or leave it kind of story. It isn’t incredible nor is it terrible. Just a decent story for an action-horror game.

Which is where my problems with the game arise. Because it can’t really decide if it’s an action game or a horror game.

The core gameplay hasn’t really changed from Resident Evil 7. It’s a FPS-Horror game where you explore your environment, pick up items that fill your limited inventory, and shoot a lot of enemies and run away from just as many others. In each level of the game, you must survive unique perils, from relentless vampires and werewolves to a giant vampires, cyborgs, and fetuses, in order to get the next plot maguffin and move on to the next.

In terms of horror, there aren’t many sections of the game that are very frightening. Lady D is a perfect Mr. X/ Nemisis-type character; being chased by her is super terrifying. And the escape-room style level, where you lose all your weapons, is one of the scariest things I’ve ever played in a game. It’s very reminiscent of PT in how it gradually builds up the dread for the big scare and it executed it flawlessly.

But the rest of the game honestly isn’t that frightening. Enemies are more annoying than scary, given how plentiful they are and how much damage they do. None of the environments are particularly frightening; the ruins of the village are creepy at first, but that fright quickly wears off. Once you’ve made it past the escape-room level, the game just stops being scary at all.

Which just leaves the action game. Is it at least an exciting action game to play? Well, kind of. The boss fights are pretty cool and feature lots of corny fun moments (like getting in a tank to fight a giant Magneto monster). And there’s a super fun moment near the end where the game arms you to the teeth and tells you to go wild.

Unfortunately, for the rest of the game, the combat is kind of mediocre. Enemies will either be beaten away by the weakest pistol without ever touching you or prove themselves the ultimate pain in your ass before finally dying; it doesn’t help that they often spawn dozens of them at once, if not more. Your move set boils down to aim and shoot four different guns (pistol, shotgun, sniper, grenade launcher), block, and maybe push the enemy away. And that’s it.

It certainly doesn’t help that Ethan is as slow as a tank. I guess that’s what military training does to you.

Now, as mediocre as the combat is, exploration is still pretty fun. Few things are as satisfying as slowly unlocking a map one item at a time. The only real problem is that you can’t go back to an area once you’ve finished it. When you beat the castle, you can no longer go back in the castle. Finish the factory, you’re not allowed to go back in, ever. If you’re going for 100% completion, you’d best be really thorough before the end.

It certainly helps that the game is really gorgeous. For the most part, it’s yet another photo-realistic game. However, it does a few things that help it stand out. It makes creative use of color and certain characters look ripped straight out of a Tim Burton movie! It isn’t as stylistically impressive as a game like Hades, but it’s still a good looking game.

And surprisingly enough, the soundtrack is pretty dope! I’m usually not much of a fan of Resident Evil music, but the OST of this game is actually cool! You won’t bang your head to it like if you were playing Guilty Gear. But all the music here fits each scene really well!

Overall, I found Resident Evil Village to be pretty good. It’s not the kind of game I can play over and over again, like RE2 Remake. It’s definitely a game with plenty of issues. But it’s still a pretty strong game that will make hardcore Resident Evil fans happy.

As for people horny for vampires… no promises.