Category: Movies
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Fallen Kingdom: The Lost World Electric Boogaloo

I never want to watch another dinosaur movie ever again. Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom is one of the most baffling Hollywood blunders I’ve ever seen. It’s not just shallow and soulless. It’s not just nonsensical. It saw the mistakes made by The Lost World and said “Yeah, not gonna do that.” and then proceeded to…
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Jurassic World: Slightly Less Miserable, Much More Stupid

After the disasters that were The Lost World and Jurassic Park 3, it seemed that the lesson had finally sunk in. Jurassic Park was, at least in film form, lightning in a bottle. Yet another miracle of all the right people being in the right places at the right time. So, to everyone’s relief, the…
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The Best Palate Cleanser Movies
Little known fact: after you watch a few irredeemably bad movies in a row, you’ll forget that good movies exist. This is because your brain will slowly begin turning to mush, with your memory cortex suffering the bulk of the damage. Ever wonder why you get a pounding headache after watching a certain number of…
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Jurassic Park 3: Life is a Nightmare

*Fun fact! This is actually the 1000th post on this blog! If I’d know that we were hitting a milestone this huge, I’d have put together something more fun and positive. But as per usual, I wasn’t thinking that far ahead! So, I hope you enjoy this review of one of the worst movies I’ve…
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Galaxy Quest: The Best Star Trek (Parody) Movie

I was gonna review Jurassic Park 3 here. But I watched this one with my family the other day, which was a far more pleasant experience. So I’m gonna do this one first. When I was a kid, there were some movies that I just watched over and over again, much to the annoyance of…