Godzilla: We Gotta Talk About the Humans

It’s a great time to be a Godzilla fan! America is continuing their version with the Monarch show, and Japan is about to drop yet another banger on us with Minus One! The King of the Monsters ain’t giving up his throne any time soon!

Over the last seventy years, many beloved monsters have taken to the screen in this series. From Mothra to Rodan, Ghidora to Gigan, Baragon to Caesar, the list goes on and on. The Big G himself has had countless iterations, from terrifying forces of nature to goofy gravity-defying children’s heroes. Few kaiju in media come even close to the iconic status of these!

But the monsters are only one half of the equation. It’s the other half where we have issues. Which is a problem, seeing as the other half is the one we’re supposed to relate to.

Humanity.

Whenever a new Godzilla movie comes out, there’s a very strong chance that the human cast will be the first thing to be criticized. As much as I love these movies, I can’t exactly say it’s an unjust criticism. Most of the time, the humans in these films tend to be really flat and uninteresting. They’re more vehicles to move the plot forward than actual characters.

For example, let’s look at Millie Bobby Brown’s character in the American films. What are her likes? Dislikes? Hopes and dreams? Fears? Sure, there’s a little subplot about her parents divorce, but they don’t really bother exploring how that affects her or why you should care. She’s just there to draw in the Stranger Things crowd and to wander into whatever monster-related scenario the writers want to take us to next.

It’s not the first time the series relied on star power. Remember Bryan Cranston’s character from the first one back in 2014? Can you recall his name? No, of course not! It was just Bryan Cranston! He was only in the first half hour, then he gets killed off-screen and Soldier McBoring takes his place! In the end, he was only there to lure people in with star power and to deliver enough science mumbo-jumbo exposition to get the plot started!

My dream of seeing Walter White confront Godzilla is doomed to remain just that…

Most of the classic Japanese Godzilla movies have the same issue. The characters are there to get the plot going, not to have deep backstories or personalities. But at least a few of them had some semblance of personality to make them charming and fun.

For example: Mothra VS Godzilla. A buddy of mine and I skipped our high school graduation and watched classic Godzilla movies instead. When we reached Mothra, we were introduced to the man we affectionately dubbed: “Egg Guy.” His only role in the story was to deliver exposition every now and then. But he was so goofy that we latched onto him immediately! To this day, we still make jokes about Egg Guy!

Here’s hoping we see his triumphant return in Minus One! We demand more Egg Guy, Toho!

Some of the films focus more on humanity as a whole than a single individual. The strongest example is Shin Godzilla. There are dozens of characters, all with a simple role in the plot; reporters, politicians, scientists, military officers, etc. You might not remember their names, but you don’t need to. The movie isn’t about one person’s rise through the Japanese government. It’s about a group of people desperately trying to figure out what the hell is happening and how to stop it! Thematically, it works for that kind of story!

Despite what some people may claim, there are a select few well-written characters sprinkled throughout this series. Take Serizawa from the original film, played by Akihiko Hirata. When he accidentally creates a weapon of mass destruction, he locks himself away in his home and refuses visitors. It isn’t until Godzilla wipes half of Japan off the map that he is finally convinced to use his Oxygen Destroyer. But in order to protect the world from his creation, he first burns all his notes, then lets the Destroyer claim both Godzilla and himself. His sacrifice is one of the most iconic moments in the whole series! He’s a great character!

Speaking of Serizawa, the Legendary movies have their own take on him, played by Ken Watanabe. American Serizawa is a fun inversion of his classic Japanese counterpart. This version sees the good in Godzilla; he respects the King of the Monsters as the protector of the Earth. When the Big G is left wounded and dying, Serizawa gives his life to help rejuvenate him. It’s a surprisingly powerful scene that cements American Serizawa as a great character while honoring the legacy of the original version and the series itself!

One last example: let’s talk about the 2002 film, Godzilla Against Mechagodzilla. In this film, humanity constructs a cyborg around the skeleton of the original Godzilla to create an anti-kaiju weapon. Its pilot: Sara Yuhara, played by Kana Onodera. Despite piloting humanity’s ultimate weapon of defense, Sara is not popular with her fellow soldiers. She’s a cold hard badass who keeps everyone at arms length. As the film progresses, she has to learn to work with people and open up again. It’s a simple character arc, but a good one!

Like the movies themselves, Godzilla characters sit on a spectrum. There are the goofy gag characters, the exposition machines, the ensemble casts, and the occasional well-written protagonist. They all serve different purposes, but without them, the films would definitely be worse. Without them, it would just be two hours of giant monsters wrestling.

Some people want that, and that’s fair. But these are stories, with points and messages. Without human characters, it just becomes a fireworks display. Fun, sure. But not especially memorable.

I’m just saying, they’d all be better if they were eating eggs. #BringBackEggGuy! He’s the hero we deserve, not the one we need!