Is X-Men 3: The Last Stand Really That Bad?

No. It’s actually worse.

When it comes to bad comic book movies, The Last Stand is really something else. It’s a total mess of plot threads, none of which come together in the slightest. It has some truly horrendous character writing, nonsensical dialogue, and the most unsatisfying conclusion it could have possibly had. It’s a disaster, through and through.

With the advent of a ‘cure’ for the Mutant gene, the struggle for equality takes a new turn for both the X-Men and the Brotherhood. Around the same time, Jean Grey comes back to life, possessed by the Phoenix Force. A storm is brewing which will consume the world; can the X-Men save the day again?

Did that summary not make sense? Good. Because neither does the movie.

Jean Grey’s plot has nothing to do with the cure for mutation. Like, at all. In fact, the cure is barely even part of the movie. Hell, neither is Jean! The movie never really focuses on anything! Scenes just happen with no rhyme or reason or anything logical tying them together!

Take the opening scenes. Yes, plural. One minute, we’re seeing a young Angel maul himself in a highly uncomfortable moment of gore and self-harm. The next, the words ‘In the not so distant future’ pops up, and we cut to the X-Men fighting Sentinels. But then it’s revealed that it wasn’t the future, it was just a training sim. So… the movie just straight-up lied, right off the bat!

Every scene is like this! People are saying things, doing things, and things are happening, but none of them come together to make any sense! One minute, Magneto is trying to kill Charles, then he gets mad at people for celebrating Charles’ death, then he’s making god awful one-liners in his name. Jean Grey stands around doing nothing until she randomly goes berserk.

And don’t even get me started on Wolverine. Holy shit, his stuff is so bad in this movie! That last scene with him and Jean when he kills her is next-level awful.

Now, in all fairness, there is one thing about this movie that I like: Magneto’s defeat. Having him lose his powers and become a regular person is a surprisingly fitting and satisfying end to his character. What better comeuppance could there be for a Mutant extremist than to become human? In a better movie, this would have been the perfect ending for the series’ main villain!

But that’s it. That’s literally the only bit of good writing in the whole movie. Everything else is just… so bad. Not even funny bad, it’s just plain bad. Which is so disappointing.

Visually speaking, this movie definitely shows its age. That sweet mid-2000s CGI is on full display here. It’s not as bad as some (one) of the movies to come, but it definitely doesn’t stand the test of time.

That finale, though. God damn, when Jean goes full Phoenix mode, this movie looks really bad.

X-Men 3: The Last Stand is genuinely one of the worst super hero movies ever made. Practically nothing about it works. The writing, the visuals, it’s all just so bad! If you want a movie to get drunk to so you can point and laugh at it, this is the perfect pick! Otherwise, steer clear!

And you know what’s really funny? The later movies made this movie non-canon to create a new timeline. What did they do with it?

They made another Phoenix movie. Which they also messed up!