Despicable Me 3 is Exhausting…

My patience for this series and this studio are officially over. And we’re not even halfway through. Lord, help me…

Despicable Me 3 is a mess. It’s not bad, per se; that is if you fall into its target demographic of small children. Anyone else might quickly find themselves with a headache. It’s a short movie, but it feels like it drags on for triple its runtime. It’s lazily written, it’s repetitive, and it feels soulless, for lack of a better word.

After failing to capture Balthazar Bratt, Gru is fired from the Anti-Villain League. Not long after, he is sent a message from his long-lost brother… Drew… who is better than him in every conceivable way except for villainy. Meanwhile, Lucy tries to connect to the girls. Family shenanigans and emotional growth ensue.

All the stories in this trilogy have been pretty really predictable. But at least they felt like they were trying. 3 doesn’t really feel like it’s trying. The long-lost brother, the mother-daughters drama, the Minions on strike, it all feels lifeless. It feels like a straight-to-DVD movie.

This is where the series’ humor really starts to get grating for anyone over the age of eleven. This movie constantly throws jokes at you, from basic slapstick to your typical Minion humor. For a small child, this movie may be hilarious! For anyone older, it gets old after ten minutes.

I can’t even latch onto Gru as a good point anymore. Having one was fine, but having two characters voiced by Steve Carrel in the same scene gets old the literal instant it starts. I want them to shut up every single time Gru or Drew open their mouths!

Villain-wise, this is the worst one of the trilogy. At least Vector and El Macho were either effective or charming. Balthazar Bratt is neither. If I ever have to hear the words “I’ve been a bad boy!” ever again, it’ll be too soon.

Don’t even get me started on Lucy and the girls. Or the Minions. Or basically any other subplot in this movie. None of them are good.

This whole movie just feels so bloated. There are too many plots going on and none of them feel worthwhile. The main story only starts at the halfway point of the film! Despicable Me 3 feels like someone stuck five cakes into the oven at once, cramming them all onto the middle shelf; none of them are going to bake evenly like that!

The animation is more of the same. This movie more or less looks exactly the same as the first one did. So if you still like that style, this movie will look just fine.

But I’ve watched three movies that look like this, so I’m getting pretty sick of it.

Once again, the music is nothing special. It’s all insert songs and generic orchestral filler pieces. It never sounds bad, but it doesn’t do anything interesting or unique. Again: it’s an Illumination score.

Despicable Me 3 is a draining movie to watch. Children will probably get a kick out of, just like the rest of this series. But anyone older than that is in for a long, tiring time.

Well, at least we’re finally done with these movies. Now I’ll never have to watch a full movie with the little pill dudes in it ever-

What? They’ve got their own movie?

Oh, there are two Minion movies?!

Is it too late to change my mind?

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