I don’t know why I’m so fascinated with this movie. But here we are. Talking about it again.
Once again, Nintendo and Illumination have graced us with a sneak preview of their world-shaking collaborative effort. And to my surprise, the reaction this time around was pretty underwhelming. No one got up in arms, no one blew their tops, nothing dramatic. We did get a fun new meme out of it, but that’s about it.
Although the Bowser fans have gotten even hornier now than they were before.
Putting that… fun… fact aside, the trailer was fairly dense for its length. We’ve got our first look at the cast as well as the plot. And it actually looks really fun! Not perfect, by any means, but it still seems like it’ll at least be an enjoyable time!
From what we can gather of the plot, it doesn’t seem particularly complicated. It’s basically a Mario Isekai. Mario is a regular guy who for some reason will have to save the day, he’s horribly inept at being a hero, then something will happen and he’ll become the right guy to save the day. Typical kid’s movie stuff.
Which is perfectly fine. Weirdos on the Internet tend to forget who Nintendo’s target demographic is. Besides, kid’s movies are fun!
What impresses me more is how they’re integrating the games into the narrative. Not just the traditional 2D ones, either. We get a brief glimpse at some Mario Kart shenanigans and even a scene that looks reminiscent of Smash Bros! They seem to be trying to honor all of Mario’s gameplay appearances, which is really cool!
Can’t wait to see how they integrate Mario Teaches Typing or Mario Goes Missing into the narrative.
Right off the bat, we get a look at the character I’m most afraid to see: Donkey Kong, voiced by Seth Rogan. His new design is fantastic and animates incredibly well. But it didn’t escape my notice that we didn’t actually hear him speak. Honestly, we probably won’t until the actual movie comes out.
Understandably so. It’s Seth Rogan; his voice is a touch of death for any character he touches.
We do get to hear Charlie Day’s Luigi and Anya-Taylor Joy’s Peach. Like Chris Pratt, they both seem to be doing their regular voices. Unlike him, however, their voices actually seem to fit with the characters. Sure, their performances won’t be ground-breaking, but at least they aren’t inducing eye-rolls.
Chris Pratt’s Mario voice is only getting worse the more I hear it. It isn’t just that the accent is weak and he just sounds like himself. His whole performance sounds half-hearted. We get to hear Mario’s signature Wahoo at the end of the trailer and it just sounds so lifeless and hollow.
Honestly? I wouldn’t even mind that badly if Chris Pratt just did his regular voice for this movie. Yes, it wouldn’t have Mario’s signature charm and charisma, but at least it would be something. Here? It sounds like he’s counting the seconds until he could get out of the recording booth!
And once again, the foreign dubs sound absolutely incredible. Honestly, I can’t wait to watch this movie subbed.
With this second trailer, I think we’ve gotten a pretty firm grasp of what this movie is going to be: a fun kid’s movie about Mario. It isn’t going to be complicated and it isn’t going to shake the world or change how people view video games or cinema. It’ll just be a fun movie with great animation and some performances ranging from fantastic to misplaced.
If I’m being real: that’s fine. That’s all the movie needs to be. It’s not going to make everyone happy, but nothing ever does. Once people are done making a big deal out of it, it’ll settle into history as a perfectly fine movie that everyone freaked out about because it’s Mario.
I just hope none of the kids that watch it decide to look up Bowser fanart. Those poor soon-to-be traumatized children…
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