Earth Elemental: The Rock Monster from Galaxy Quest

I was gonna use a screenshot from the movie, but apparently those just don’t exist in the right aspect ratio, and I’ll be fucked if I’m gonna take the screenshot myself. So you just get a flat image of rocks. Sorry not sorry.

Again, earth elementals don’t really have much lore to talk about. Nor do they have especially interesting designs. They’re a big rock that moves. How unique.

Now, let’s look at stats. Its AC and HP are decently high. Even higher if you’re swinging at it with non-magical weapons, as it’s resistant to all of those; it is a rock, after all. Not only that, but it’s immune to basically every condition, as well as all poison damage.

In terms of actual attacks, however, this guy is built more for attacking cities than players, what with the Siege Monster ability. It only has a slam attack, which it can use twice, that does 14(2d8+5) bludgeoning damage. It doesn’t make for the most complex battle. In fact, out of all the monsters I’ve reviewed so far, this might be the most straightforward fight you could possibly get!

Unless you consider Earth Glide a game-changing ability. Which it isn’t.

With all that in mind, let’s put the Earth Elemental on the Best of the Bestiary!

1. Beholder
2. Death Tyrant
3. Dragon Turtle
4. Green Dragons
5. Red Dragons
6. Blue Dragons
7. Black Dragons
8. White Dragons
9. Silver Dragons
10. Couatl
11. Behir
12. Aboleth
13. Bronze Dragons
14. Brass Dragons
15. Copper Dragons
16. Gold Dragons
17. Chuul
18. Chimera
19. Death Knight
20. Bone Devil
21. Dracolich
22. Ankheg
23. Shadow Demon
24. Marilith
25. Drider
26. Aarackockra
27. Azer
28. Demilich
29. Spectator
30. Cambion
31. Animated Armor
32. Banshee
33. Basilisk
34. Yochlol
35. Bulette
36. Cloaker
37. Darkmantle
38. Doppelganger
39. Pit Fiend
40. Erinyes
41. Chain Devil
42. Bearded Devil
43. Barbed Devil
44. Spined Devil
45. Ice Devil
46. Nalfeshnee
47. Glabrezu
48. Chasme
49. Barlgura
50. Horned Devil
51. Balor
52. Shadow Dragon
53. Vrock
54. Dretch
55. Goristro
56. Hezrou
57. Manes
58. Duergar
59. Quasit
60. Dryad
61. Planetar
62. Imp
63. Displacer Beast
64. Carrion Crawler
65. Rug of Smothering
66. Bugbear Chief
67. Bugbear
68. Vine Blight
69. Twig Blight
70. Needle Blight
71. Bullywug
72. Cockatrice
73. Lemure
74. Solar
75. Deva
76. Cyclops
77. Centaur
78. Air Elemental
79. Dinosaurs (All six of them)
80. Earth Elemental <———————–
81. Flying Sword
82. Crawling Claw