Best of the Beastiary, D&D

Earth Elemental: The Rock Monster from Galaxy Quest

I was gonna use a screenshot from the movie, but apparently those just don’t exist in the right aspect ratio, and I’ll be fucked if I’m gonna take the screenshot myself. So you just get a flat image of rocks. Sorry not sorry.

Again, earth elementals don’t really have much lore to talk about. Nor do they have especially interesting designs. They’re a big rock that moves. How unique.

Now, let’s look at stats. Its AC and HP are decently high. Even higher if you’re swinging at it with non-magical weapons, as it’s resistant to all of those; it is a rock, after all. Not only that, but it’s immune to basically every condition, as well as all poison damage.

In terms of actual attacks, however, this guy is built more for attacking cities than players, what with the Siege Monster ability. It only has a slam attack, which it can use twice, that does 14(2d8+5) bludgeoning damage. It doesn’t make for the most complex battle. In fact, out of all the monsters I’ve reviewed so far, this might be the most straightforward fight you could possibly get!

Unless you consider Earth Glide a game-changing ability. Which it isn’t.

With all that in mind, let’s put the Earth Elemental on the Best of the Bestiary!

  1. Beholder
  2. Death Tyrant
  3. Dragon Turtle
  4. Green Dragons
  5. Red Dragons
  6. Blue Dragons
  7. Black Dragons
  8. White Dragons
  9. Silver Dragons
  10. Couatl
  11. Behir
  12. Aboleth
  13. Bronze Dragons
  14. Brass Dragons
  15. Copper Dragons
  16. Gold Dragons
  17. Chuul
  18. Chimera
  19. Death Knight
  20. Bone Devil
  21. Dracolich
  22. Ankheg
  23. Shadow Demon
  24. Marilith
  25. Drider
  26. Aarackockra
  27. Azer
  28. Demilich
  29. Spectator
  30. Cambion
  31. Animated Armor
  32. Banshee
  33. Basilisk
  34. Yochlol
  35. Bulette
  36. Cloaker
  37. Darkmantle
  38. Doppelganger
  39. Pit Fiend
  40. Erinyes
  41. Chain Devil
  42. Bearded Devil
  43. Barbed Devil
  44. Spined Devil
  45. Ice Devil
  46. Nalfeshnee
  47. Glabrezu
  48. Chasme
  49. Barlgura
  50. Horned Devil
  51. Balor
  52. Shadow Dragon
  53. Vrock
  54. Dretch
  55. Goristro
  56. Hezrou
  57. Manes
  58. Duergar
  59. Quasit
  60. Dryad
  61. Planetar
  62. Imp
  63. Displacer Beast
  64. Carrion Crawler
  65. Rug of Smothering
  66. Bugbear Chief
  67. Bugbear
  68. Vine Blight
  69. Twig Blight
  70. Needle Blight
  71. Bullywug
  72. Cockatrice
  73. Lemure
  74. Solar
  75. Deva
  76. Cyclops
  77. Centaur
  78. Air Elemental
  79. Dinosaurs (All six of them)
  80. Earth Elemental <———————–
  81. Flying Sword
  82. Crawling Claw

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