Best of the Beastiary, D&D

Homonculus: Fullmetal Alchemist Joke

Unfortunately, this version of a homonculus is significantly less interesting or terrifying than what we saw in that series. Lore: Making a Pet There really isn't much to say here. A homonculus is a little animated creature made with clay, ash, mandrake root, and blood. They share a telepathic bond with their master and make… Continue reading Homonculus: Fullmetal Alchemist Joke

Best of the Beastiary, D&D

Hobgoblins: Goblins, But Tall… And Red

They break before our shields,They fall beneath our blades;Their home is ours to conquer,Their children our slaves.Acheron! Acheron!Victory is ours!Translation of a hobgoblin war chant After three monsters with barely a page dedicated to them, we've got a collection that takes up three whole pages all to themselves! Hooray! My job just got so much… Continue reading Hobgoblins: Goblins, But Tall… And Red

Best of the Beastiary, D&D

Hippogriff: Prisoner of Azkaban Joke

Did anyone know what a hippogriff was before that book? Or was this a commonly known monster? I don't know, I grew up in a post-Harry Potter world. Lore: Majestic Animals That's all these guys are, really. Just cool animals to populate your fantasy world. Not much is known about hippogriffs. Their origins are magical… Continue reading Hippogriff: Prisoner of Azkaban Joke

Best of the Beastiary, D&D

Helmed Horror: Animated Armor, But Better

Well, it's horrifying. But at least it's safe! I mean, it's wearing a helmet! ...that might be the worst joke I've ever written. I'm genuinely sorry about that one. Lore: How May I Serve? A more advanced form of animated armor, the helmed horror is an ever loyal and intelligent servant. Though it requires more… Continue reading Helmed Horror: Animated Armor, But Better