Why the hell are you here, Teacher?!: What am I doing with my life?

*Sigh*… Alright. I guess I’ll talk about this one. Why the hell not? I guess I’ll just hope that neither of my parents decides to read this one.

Anime is weird. That’s no secret. You’ve got shows about muscular aliens beating the shit out of each other. You’ve got little girls with magic powers singing songs to defeat rape demons. You’ve got slice-of-life dramas that are about as realistic as the Buster Sword. It’s why I love anime so much! You never know what you’re going to get!

And then there’s shit like this.

I have a little message to the team behind ‘Why the hell are you here, Teacher?!’. This is for both the manga writer and the anime studio. This might blow your mind, so buckle up and prepare yourselves. Are you ready? Okay. Here’s the message.

If you wanted to make hentai, you could have just fucking made hentai!

The ‘plot’, if you can call it that, is brain-dead simple. A student stumbles into his hot teacher in a place where she shouldn’t be. Every episode is a simple loop: teacher and student go to a place, the teacher is forced into an awkward situation where she gets naked or is put into a compromising position, the student has to help while trying and failing to avoid touching her lady parts. Rinse and repeat about twice per episode for twelve episodes.

It’s softcore porn. I’m not gonna beat around the bush. It’s literally just softcore porn that they censor with these big fucking stamps like it’s a late-night TV show!

The series is divided between four pairs of students and teachers. Not that it particularly matters. Each story arc has the same aforementioned loop. It’s just as awkward and uncomfortable the first time with the first teacher as it is the last time with the last teacher. The characters have about as much depth as the premise itself and about just as much development.

I’d go into the animation around this point. Unfortunately, there isn’t really any at all. The most you’ll get is a very simple arm movement, a lip flap, and boob jiggling. Aside from that, every shot is basically just a colored panel from the manga.

And I can’t imagine that the manga looks all that good either. I’m really not a fan of this art style. The character designs are boring and forgettable. The faces are weird and uncomfortable. It’s not the ugliest anime of all time, to be fair. The backgrounds are decent and, while I don’t like the character designs, I can safely say they’re better than other shows.

Also, the music is painful and forgettable. So much so that it isn’t even worth a paragraph. The OP song is obnoxious and the ED is just as annoying.

Plus, both of them shove more boobs into your face. I never thought I’d say that I’m sick of that. But here we are.

You may be thinking that this might be a good ironic watch. Hey, if Domestic Girlfriend could be entertaining, maybe this could be too! Like watching The Room! I’m here to tell you no! That’s not correct at all!

This show is not enjoyable to watch! It’s not fun to watch ironically nor is it enjoyable unironically! You can’t even masturbate to it! It is a complete waste of time no matter how you want to watch it! I can never get those few hours of my life back! But I can hopefully keep you from making the same mistake!

Do. Not. Watch. This. Fucking. Show. Don’t make the same mistake that I did! Go outside! Tell your parents you love them! Go watch something good! Do not, under any circumstances, watch this show!

I need to go take a shower and wash away my shame.

2 responses to “Why the hell are you here, Teacher?!: What am I doing with my life?”

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