Demons Part 7: Goristro (Best of the Bestiary)

This is the single most terrifying mount in the history of fantasy!

Goristro demons are towering monsters, standing over twenty feet tall. When controlled by Demon Lords, they’re made into formidable living siege weapons, as well as pets. They have an almost supernatural cunning that allows them to navigate the most vexing of labyrinths, making them a terrifying hunter. More terrifying yet, they often bear a palanquin on their back, carrying smaller demons within. Very rarely does a Goristro attack alone.

Once again, this monster cannot stand alone for its own story. It can’t even star in a sidequest! But as a major boss fight in a demonic-themed campaign? This thing does the job and does it well!

Especially thanks to the stats. But we’ll get to that. First, we need to talk about…

Design: Minotaur Demonic Edition

The flavor text describes this as a minotaur. Well, I’m inclined to agree.

I don’t have anything to say about this thing. It isn’t especially creative or interesting. It doesn’t communicate the monster’s story, given that it doesn’t really have one. It’s just a big red threatening demon. Sure, it looks pretty cool. But it doesn’t have any of the aspects of a good design that I look for.

Cool. But generic. Moving on.

Combat: Impossible to Shake

This thing is not a monster for low-level parties to fight. This is a monster meant for the endgame when the party can fold reality between their fingers.

In terms of defenses, this thing is a literal walking tank! Its AC is super high, requiring some high modifiers and high rolls to beat, and an HP pool that will take a lot of time to whittle down to zero. It’s resistant to practically everything and completely immune to poison, making it even more difficult to do any major damage! This thing will take some serious time and power to bring down!

Which is difficult. Considering how much power this thing is packing.

If this monster charges you down, then brace for impact! Because its charge attack does a whopping 38(7d10) piercing damage as it pierces you with its horn. If you’re hit by that, you’re sent flying twenty feet away and knocked prone, leaving you vulnerable to one of his other attacks.

And god damn, does this thing have a fair few attacks behind it.

With Multiattack, this monster can attack three times per turn: twice with its fists and once with its hoof. Its fists do a decently high 20(3d8+7) damage, while its hoof does 23(3d10+7) and can knock you prone. On top of that, it can gore you with its horns or claws, which can deal 45(7d10+7) piercing damage. If you have a group of high-level players with lots of HP, this monster is the perfect fit for them, as it will likely knock them down to single-digits before they finally kill it.

If they kill it.

Fleeing from this monster, should the party deem it necessary, is also incredibly difficult. It has an elephantine memory, making it impossible for the Goristro to become lost. Not only that, but it is also a Siege monster, meaning it does extra damage to buildings and objects. That’s right, this mother-fucker will tear the fucking city down to get at you!

In terms of a fight, this monster is very straight-forward. Its abilities do little to encourage creativity on the part of the players. If you want to kill it, all you’ve got to do is hope you roll high enough to kill it quickly and have high enough HP to survive. It may be a challenging fight. But it is not an interesting one.

Conclusion

Honestly, I’m really disappointed with this thing. It doesn’t have any interesting lore or flavor text. The design is cool but unmemorable, uninteresting, and uncreative. While its stats make it intimidating, the battle attached to it is not creative or interesting.

With all that in mind, let’s put the Goristro on the Best of the Bestiary!

1. Beholder
2. Death Tyrant
3. Couatl
4. Behir
5. Aboleth
6. Chuul
7. Chimera
8. Death Knight
9. Ankheg
10. Aarackockra
11. Azer
12. Demilich
13. Spectator
14. Cambion
15. Animated Armor
16. Banshee
17. Basilisk
18. Bulette
19. Cloaker
20. Darkmantle
21. Glabrezu
22. Chasme
23. Barlgura
24. Balor
25. Dretch
26. Goristro <——–
27. Planetar
28. Carrion Crawler
29. Rug of Smothering
30. Bugbear Chief
31. Bugbear
32. Vine Blight
33. Twig Blight
34. Needle Blight
35. Bullywug
36. Cockatrice
37. Solar
38. Deva
39. Cyclops
40. Centaur
41. Flying Sword
42. Crawling Claw

While its cool design does put it above the bottom entries on this list, it doesn’t have anything to put it any higher than it is. It is a fun monster, but far from interesting or memorable. It’s just another generic, mildly intimidating demon.