Best of the Beastiary, D&D

Animated Objects (Best of the Bestiary)

I have a soft spot for these guys.

Animated objects are super simple. Their lore is so simple yet flexible that it may as well be a mound of clay. Their stats are low, making them perfect enemies for a starting or low-level party. And to top it off, they have a pair of fun abilities that make them super fun to play with.

Let’s start with their lore. Simply put: these guys are animated by exceptionally potent magic with the intent to create a servant. Should their master vanish, they will follow the last command they were given. Sometimes they’ll develop their own personalities and become their own creature. They can even learn how to speak!

This may seem to simple to do anything with, much like the lore behind the Angels Deva and Planetar. However, in this case, the simplicity is what makes these guys so great! Pretty much anything you can imagine could fit these guys! Need automated guards for a prison? Or perhaps the players could be ambushed by them after an uneventful dive through a dungeon? Maybe you could even make one a low-level NPC party member! The possibilities are massive!

However, those possibilities only really exist for the ‘Animated Armor‘. As for the ‘Flying Sword‘ and the ‘Rug of Smothering‘, those only really work as a trap or brief encounter in a dungeon. But that doesn’t mean they’re not fun! I mean, what’s more fun as a DM than telling the wizard of the party that the carpet he was standing on is now strangling him to death?!

In terms of design… what the fuck did you expect? It’s a sword, a suit of armor, and a rug. Not the most creative things in the book.

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Now, earlier I mentioned a few fun abilities. Those would be ‘Antimagic Susceptibility‘ and ‘False Appearance‘. The ladder is exactly what it sounds like. The former, however, is where an encounter with these guys can get pretty fun!

See, it’s not hard to actually kill one of these guys. But if you have the ‘Dispel Magic‘ spell, you could simply… shut them down. Like flipping the off switch. Anticlimactic? Yup. Hilarious? Quite.

All in all, these guys are fun, but not super memorable. They serve as a good early game entity. However, they’re very quickly made obsolete once the players level up a bit. With that in mind, let’s plug them into the list of the Best of the Bestiary.

  1. Aboleth
  2. Aarackocra
  3. Animated Armor (I have a soft spot for them)
  4. Planetar
  5. Rug of Smothering
  6. Solar
  7. Deva
  8. Flying Sword

Look at that! The list is actually starting to look like… well, a list. And we’re only a few pages into the first book!

I’m going to be doing this until I die, aren’t I?

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