Directed By: Alan Taylor
Written By: Christopher L. Yost, Christopher Markus
Release Date: November 8th, 2013
Run Time: 1h 52m (only one 30 second scene of which isn’t miserable)
Link to IMDb
Ugh… Do I have to?
Is it just me, or are the Thor movies (before Ragnarok) just the worst? These are the least entertaining or memorable movies in the entire MCU! And nowhere is that more apparent than in this one. The most universally panned movie in the MCU.
Not counting Incredible Hulk. Because again I ask: does anyone count that one?
I have watched this movie twice now. Once when it first came out, and a few days ago in my marathon batch with my buddy. Speaking of which, here’s how that interaction went!
Me: *Not so gentle snoring*
Friend: *Somewhat gentle snoring*
That’s a lie. He took this much more seriously than I did. And this time around, he forced me to stay awake, despite my body’s constant screams to go to sleep. Though to be fair, I did ask him to do this with me, so I guess I deserved it.
Across these different reviews, I’ve mentioned how most MCU movies suffer from the same issues. Those being flat cinematography, horribly uninteresting villains, and a third act that rapidly declines in quality. While there has been an exception before this point, that one being The Avengers, it’ll be a little bit before these problems start being fixed.
This is not helped at all by Thor: The Dark World. In fact, it’s actually worse. The visuals are so flat, drab and boring that it’s putting me to sleep just thinking about them. Seriously, even the color pallet is dull! Unfortunately, the Dark World is just as dark and dreary as you’d expect. Asgard is a poor setting, but at least it’s colorful. The Dark World is just… pitiful.
Then we’ve got the main villains: Dark Elves. Why do they want to do evil things? Because they’re Dark Elves! What other reason do they need? Do they have interesting and unique personalities? They don’t need those, they’re generic evil machines! That’s what people want to see, right?
But worst of all is the script and the actors. One cannot function without the other, and unfortunately, the script leaves the actors with almost nothing to work with. At most points it’s just yawn inducing, at others it’s uncomfortably awkward. My personal favorite example of the ladder being the scene where Natalie Portman’s character is in the restaurant and she’s muttering “Sea bass” to herself over and over again. Is it funny? Nope. It’s certainly awkward.
There is one scene in the entire movie that I actually like. One scene that is actually fun and gives the actors something to work with in the script. And unfortunately, it’s one of the shortest scenes in the entire movie. I’m of course talking about the scene where Loki transforms into Steve Rogers and rambles on about feeling the ‘power’ and ‘righteousness’. It’s genuinely funny and charming, and I wish that the whole movie was of the same quality.
That’s about all there is to be said about this movie. Aside from that one fun scene, the rest is a pure slog. It’s boring to look at, the script is either boring or painfully awkward, and the story is complete trash. This was the movie that made me certain that Thor movies were always destined to fail.
Then Ragnarok came along and proved me wrong. But you know what, if it means getting movies of decent quality, then I’m more than fine with being wrong.