Books, Daily Rant, Movies

Day 259: Artemis Fowl

Yesterday, the first trailer for the Artemis Fowl movie aired. About a decade or so after the series came to it’s end. And everyone’s moved on.

Disney, you have impeccable timing.

Honestly though, it looks solid. We haven’t seen much, but what we have seen looks somewhat faithful to the original book. The only changes I’d noticed were minute things that don’t really matter. Whether or not it’ll maintain the same quality as the original novel is yet to be seen, but my interest has been sparked.

What makes me nervous are the books themselves. In terms of the world, Artemis Fowl is a very difficult story to adapt. The settings are super bizarre, especially the underground home of the fairies. Sure, modern CGI makes it possible, but that doesn’t change the fact that translating what’s on the page onto the big screen is going to be tremendously difficult.

Even more difficult than that will be Artemis himself. Remember, despite his indomitable genius, Artemis Fowl was a kid in the first book. And the movie reflects this quite well.

Now, to give credit where it’s due, the kid playing Artemis certainly looks the part. But here’s the issue that has me concerned.

We don’t hear him speak. At all. In the whole trailer. The main character is completely silent.

This is a bad sign. Child actors have a bad reputation for a reason. Sure, there are plenty of exceptions, like the kids from Stranger Things, but the majority of child actors are… Well, they suck. They’re young and they don’t know what to do.

Am I being worried over nothing? Quite possibly. But we won’t know until we actually hear him speak which, if I’m right, won’t be until we see the movie.

However, that’s not my biggest concern. Not by a long shot. My biggest concern is the title.

It’s not Artemis Fowl. It’s Disney’s Artemis Fowl.

Now, I like a fair number of Disney movies. But not one of their book adaptations have been any good. If you need an example, just look at the Wrinkle in Time movie from earlier this year.

Yeah, I bet you don’t even remember that happened.

Still, despite my fears, I’m excited for the movie. Artemis Fowl is one of my favorite book series ever written, and I’ve been looking forward to a film adaptation since I was a kid. And who knows? Maybe if it’s good and makes a ton in the box office, we’ll see adaptations of the other books! Can you imagine watching the Eternity Code or the Last Colony play out in front of your eyes? That could be amazing!

Or we’ll pull a Percy Jackson, make it two terrible movies in and kill the films forever. That’s a frighteningly real possibility.

2 thoughts on “Day 259: Artemis Fowl”

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