Satyr: Spirits of Revelry

Twixt day and night the spirits goad me on
They pine for ages past when hearts were pure
Against all reason now they seem unsure
They laugh and scream between mine ears anon.
Now fill my cup not once, not twice, but thrice
With flagon’s brim upon my lips I dance
Let unseen pixies toss their gowns askance
While I, the Carnal King, indulge my vice.
With folded boughs, the treants take their leave
As merry damsels’ corsets come undone
My song doth stir them like a summer breeze
They fill mine empty cup without reprieve.
The sun becomes the moon becomes the sun
I while away the hours as I please.

Sonnet of a naughty satyr

Lore: Literal Party Animals

Satyrs constantly seek the greatest indulgences, going to great lengths to fulfill their insatiable desires. They might kidnap a bard to hear a good song, sneak into a well-guarded palace to gaze upon a beautiful princess, or steal a fine meal from a dangerous lord. Parties, holidays, they allow no celebration to pass them by, regardless of the consequences.

Short and simple as this lore is, it’s absolutely rife with potential! You could come up with all kinds of one-off sessions or side quests with that premise! Perhaps the party is hired by a noble lady to deal with a stalker, only for that stalker to turn out to be a satyr. Or maybe they need to keep their eyes on a satyr during an intense party to make sure they don’t get into trouble!

This is the kind of lore I love. Short, sweet, and flexible. Perfection.

Design: Exactly What You’d Expect

Hello, Mr. Tumnus. It’s nice to see you again. Now, could you kindly get back into the wardrobe and go back to Narnia?

Why are you looking at me like that?

There’s really nothing new brought to the table here. Because… I mean, how could there be? Kinda hard to do anything new with the ‘goat man’ premise. Not unless you want to go to some dark places, which really wouldn’t fit the monster.

Is it a boring design? Yeah, little bit. But is it a bad one? No. Generic as it is, it gets the point across. It’s a satyr. Hard to confuse it for anything else.

Unless there’s some other goat-man party-animal creature in mythology or D&D that I don’t know about. But something makes me doubt it.

Though I’m open to be surprised.

Stats: The Trickster

Actually fighting a satyr is really boring. It’s one of the most basic and boring slugfests you could possibly imagine. Literally the only extra challenge is its resistance to magical effects. Lame.

But you aren’t really meant to use satyrs as enemies for combat. The challenge of overcoming a satyr should be in the magical trickery they play upon the players. And with that, you can get as creative as you like! If you put your imagination cap on, you could make something incredibly fun and memorable!

Or something incredibly annoying. You do you.


As a whole, this monster is pretty good. Its lore is excellent! Its design, while a bit boring, gets the job done. The only real problem is the stats; if you’re looking for a cool fight, you’d need something else. But if you want a creature to put at the heart of a magical puzzle, this is the perfect pick.

With all that in mind, the Satyr is going to #76 on the Best of the Bestiary!

  1. Beholder
  2. Death Tyrant
  3. Mind Flayer
  4. Dragon Turtle
  5. Mummy/Mummy Lord
  6. Nagas (all three of ’em)
  7. Green Dragons
  8. Red Dragons
  9. Blue Dragons
  10. Black Dragons
  11. White Dragons
  12. Silver Dragons
  13. Couatl
  14. Behir
  15. Aboleth
  16. Sea Hag
  17. Lamia
  18. Bronze Dragons
  19. Brass Dragons
  20. Copper Dragons
  21. Gold Dragons
  22. Chuul
  23. Kuo-Toa
  24. Gibbering Mouther
  25. Kraken
  26. Intellect Devourer
  27. Chimera
  28. Death Knight
  29. Fomorian
  30. Bone Devil
  31. Dracolich
  32. Faerie Dragon
  33. Gelatinous Cube
  34. Lich
  35. Peryton
  36. Remorhaz
  37. Orcs (all four of ’em)
  38. Magmin
  39. Kobold
  40. Kenku
  41. Hobgoblins
  42. Night Hag
  43. Green Hag
  44. Black Pudding
  45. Ankheg
  46. Hook Horror
  47. Oni
  48. Purple Worm
  49. Storm Giant
  50. Hill Giant
  51. Empyrean
  52. Efreeti
  53. Grimlock
  54. Minotaur
  55. Dao
  56. Cloud Giant
  57. Manticore
  58. Drow (all four of ’em)
  59. Shadow Demon
  60. Modrons (all five of ’em)
  61. Marilith
  62. Drider
  63. Aarackockra
  64. Azer
  65. Demilich
  66. Spectator
  67. Gray Ooze
  68. Ochre Jelly
  69. Hydra
  70. Rakshasa
  71. Marid
  72. Salamander
  73. Harpy
  74. Werejackal
  75. Otyugh
  76. Satyr <—————–
  77. Half-Dragon
  78. Cambion
  79. Fire Giant
  80. Nothic
  81. Pixie
  82. Animated Armor
  83. Roper
  84. Banshee
  85. Basilisk
  86. Yochlol
  87. Bulette
  88. Cloaker
  89. Darkmantle
  90. Doppelganger
  91. Revenant
  92. Ghoul and Ghast
  93. Sahuagin (all three)
  94. Ettin
  95. Medusa
  96. Pit Fiend
  97. Erinyes
  98. Chain Devil
  99. Bearded Devil
  100. Barbed Devil
  101. Spined Devil
  102. Ice Devil
  103. Mimic
  104. Djinni
  105. Merrow
  106. Nalfeshnee
  107. Glabrezu
  108. Chasme
  109. Grell
  110. Barlgura
  111. Horned Devil
  112. Balor
  113. Shadow Dragon
  114. Myconids (all four of ’em)
  115. Piercer
  116. Werebear
  117. Lizardfolk
  118. Vrock
  119. Dretch
  120. Pseudodragon
  121. Gnolls (all three)
  122. Goristro
  123. Hezrou
  124. Manes
  125. Quaggoth
  126. Frost Giant
  127. Weretiger
  128. Werewolf
  129. Duergar
  130. Quasit
  131. Dryad
  132. Flumph
  133. Goblin
  134. Nightmare
  135. Rust Monster
  136. Wereboar
  137. Wererat
  138. Githyanki
  139. Owlbear
  140. Planetar
  141. Imp
  142. Ogres/Half-ogres
  143. Roc
  144. Clay Golem
  145. Flameskull
  146. Displacer Beast
  147. Carrion Crawler
  148. Githzerai
  149. Grick
  150. Invisible Stalker
  151. Rug of Smothering
  152. Bugbear Chief
  153. Bugbear
  154. Flesh Golem
  155. Vine Blight
  156. Twig Blight
  157. Needle Blight
  158. Mephits (all six of ’em)
  159. Bullywug
  160. Hellhound
  161. Ettercap
  162. Gas Spore
  163. Cockatrice
  164. Lemure
  165. Homonculus
  166. Merfolk
  167. Solar
  168. Deva
  169. Gorgon
  170. Hippogriff
  171. Griffon
  172. Cyclops
  173. Centaur
  174. Ghost
  175. Pegasus
  176. Fire Elemental
  177. Water Elemental
  178. Air Elemental
  179. Stone Giant
  180. Deep Gnome
  181. Dinosaurs (All six of them)
  182. Iron Golem
  183. Stone Golem
  184. Earth Elemental
  185. Galeb Duhr
  186. Helmed Horror
  187. Flying Sword
  188. Crawling Claw
  189. Violet Fungus
  190. Shrieker
  191. Gargoyle

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