Satyr: Spirits of Revelry

Twixt day and night the spirits goad me on
They pine for ages past when hearts were pure
Against all reason now they seem unsure
They laugh and scream between mine ears anon.
Now fill my cup not once, not twice, but thrice
With flagon’s brim upon my lips I dance
Let unseen pixies toss their gowns askance
While I, the Carnal King, indulge my vice.
With folded boughs, the treants take their leave
As merry damsels’ corsets come undone
My song doth stir them like a summer breeze
They fill mine empty cup without reprieve.
The sun becomes the moon becomes the sun
I while away the hours as I please.

Sonnet of a naughty satyr

Lore: Literal Party Animals

Satyrs constantly seek the greatest indulgences, going to great lengths to fulfill their insatiable desires. They might kidnap a bard to hear a good song, sneak into a well-guarded palace to gaze upon a beautiful princess, or steal a fine meal from a dangerous lord. Parties, holidays, they allow no celebration to pass them by, regardless of the consequences.

Short and simple as this lore is, it’s absolutely rife with potential! You could come up with all kinds of one-off sessions or side quests with that premise! Perhaps the party is hired by a noble lady to deal with a stalker, only for that stalker to turn out to be a satyr. Or maybe they need to keep their eyes on a satyr during an intense party to make sure they don’t get into trouble!

This is the kind of lore I love. Short, sweet, and flexible. Perfection.

Design: Exactly What You’d Expect

Hello, Mr. Tumnus. It’s nice to see you again. Now, could you kindly get back into the wardrobe and go back to Narnia?

There’s really nothing new brought to the table here. Because… I mean, how could there be? Kinda hard to do anything new with the ‘goat man’ premise. Not unless you want to go to some dark places, which really wouldn’t fit the monster.

Is it a boring design? Yeah, little bit. But is it a bad one? No. Generic as it is, it gets the point across. It’s a satyr. Hard to confuse it for anything else.

Unless there’s some other goat-man party-animal creature in mythology or D&D that I don’t know about. But something makes me doubt it.

Though I’m open to be surprised.

Stats: The Trickster

Actually fighting a satyr is really boring. It’s one of the most basic and boring slugfests you could possibly imagine. Literally the only extra challenge is its resistance to magical effects. Lame.

But you aren’t really meant to use satyrs as enemies for combat. The challenge of overcoming a satyr should be in the magical trickery they play upon the players. And with that, you can get as creative as you like! If you put your imagination cap on, you could make something incredibly fun and memorable!

Or something incredibly annoying. You do you.

Placement

As a whole, this monster is pretty good. Its lore is excellent! Its design, while a bit boring, gets the job done. The only real problem is the stats; if you’re looking for a cool fight, you’d need something else. But if you want a creature to put at the heart of a magical puzzle, this is the perfect pick.

With all that in mind, the Satyr is going to #76 on the Best of the Bestiary!

1. Beholder
2. Death Tyrant
3. Mind Flayer
4. Dragon Turtle
5. Mummy/Mummy Lord
6. Nagas (all three of ’em)
7. Green Dragons
8. Red Dragons
9. Blue Dragons
10. Black Dragons
11. White Dragons
12. Silver Dragons
13. Couatl
14. Behir
15. Aboleth
16. Sea Hag
17. Lamia
18. Bronze Dragons
19. Brass Dragons
20. Copper Dragons
21. Gold Dragons
22. Chuul
23. Kuo-Toa
24. Gibbering Mouther
25. Kraken
26. Intellect Devourer
27. Chimera
28. Death Knight
29. Fomorian
30. Bone Devil
31. Dracolich
32. Faerie Dragon
33. Gelatinous Cube
34. Lich
35. Peryton
36. Remorhaz
37. Orcs (all four of ’em)
38. Magmin
39. Kobold
40. Kenku
41. Hobgoblins
42. Night Hag
43. Green Hag
44. Black Pudding
45. Ankheg
46. Hook Horror
47. Oni
48. Purple Worm
49. Storm Giant
50. Hill Giant
51. Empyrean
52. Efreeti
53. Grimlock
54. Minotaur
55. Dao
56. Cloud Giant
57. Manticore
58. Drow (all four of ’em)
59. Shadow Demon
60. Modrons (all five of ’em)
61. Marilith
62. Drider
63. Aarackockra
64. Azer
65. Demilich
66. Spectator
67. Gray Ooze
68. Ochre Jelly
69. Hydra
70. Rakshasa
71. Marid
72. Salamander
73. Harpy
74. Werejackal
75. Otyugh
76. Satyr <—————–
77. Half-Dragon
78. Cambion
79. Fire Giant
80. Nothic
81. Pixie
82. Animated Armor
83. Roper
84. Banshee
85. Basilisk
86. Yochlol
87. Bulette
88. Cloaker
89. Darkmantle
90. Doppelganger
91. Revenant
92. Ghoul and Ghast
93. Sahuagin (all three)
94. Ettin
95. Medusa
96. Pit Fiend
97. Erinyes
98. Chain Devil
99. Bearded Devil
100. Barbed Devil
101. Spined Devil
102. Ice Devil
103. Mimic
104. Djinni
105. Merrow
106. Nalfeshnee
107. Glabrezu
108. Chasme
109. Grell
110. Barlgura
111. Horned Devil
112. Balor
113. Shadow Dragon
114. Myconids (all four of ’em)
115. Piercer
116. Werebear
117. Lizardfolk
118. Vrock
119. Dretch
120. Pseudodragon
121. Gnolls (all three)
122. Goristro
123. Hezrou
124. Manes
125. Quaggoth
126. Frost Giant
127. Weretiger
128. Werewolf
129. Duergar
130. Quasit
131. Dryad
132. Flumph
133. Goblin
134. Nightmare
135. Rust Monster
136. Wereboar
137. Wererat
138. Githyanki
139. Owlbear
140. Planetar
141. Imp
142. Ogres/Half-ogres
143. Roc
144. Clay Golem
145. Flameskull
146. Displacer Beast
147. Carrion Crawler
148. Githzerai
149. Grick
150. Invisible Stalker
151. Rug of Smothering
152. Bugbear Chief
153. Bugbear
154. Flesh Golem
155. Vine Blight
156. Twig Blight
157. Needle Blight
158. Mephits (all six of ’em)
159. Bullywug
160. Hellhound
161. Ettercap
162. Gas Spore
163. Cockatrice
164. Lemure
165. Homonculus
166. Merfolk
167. Solar
168. Deva
169. Gorgon
170. Hippogriff
171. Griffon
172. Cyclops
173. Centaur
174. Ghost
175. Pegasus
176. Fire Elemental
177. Water Elemental
178. Air Elemental
179. Stone Giant
180. Deep Gnome
181. Dinosaurs (All six of them)
182. Iron Golem
183. Stone Golem
184. Earth Elemental
185. Galeb Duhr
186. Helmed Horror
187. Flying Sword
188. Crawling Claw
189. Violet Fungus
190. Shrieker
191. Gargoyle