Spider-Man: No Way Home is finally out. Unfortunately, I haven’t had a chance to see it yet. Partly because I don’t want to sit in a movie theater during COVID. Mostly because of my private life falling to pieces.
So, to kill time until I can see No Way Home, we’re going to have a look at the past. We’re going to rank every Spidey movie up to this point.
Because that is never controversial.
- S tier: Into the Spider-Verse, Spider-Man 2, Far From Home
- A tier: Spider-Man, Homecoming
- B tier: Spider-Man 3
- C tier: Amazing Spider-Man
- D tier: Amazing Spider-Man 2
I can’t wait for all the people to tell me I’m stupid for putting the MCU Spidey movies so high. Sue me, okay? They’re fun to watch! Tom Holland is my favorite live-action Spidey. Far From Home absolutely nailed Mysterio, one of my favorite villains. Meanwhile, Homecoming had the amazing Vulture twist at the end. I could watch both on loop and always have a big smile. Hence, they’re in the S and A tier.
Luckily, I don’t think I need to explain why Into the Spider-Verse or Spider-Man 2 are on there. I will forever argue that Spider-Verse is the best Spidey movie of all time, not to mention one of the best animated movies I’ve ever seen. Spider-Man 2 definitely shows its age, but it still holds up in many ways. From its themes to its action scenes, it’s easy to see why so many people still defend Spider-Man 2.
Due to childhood nostalgia, I was tempted to put Spider-Man 1 in the S tier. But I just don’t think it’s as good as the sequel. It still tackles some great themes of responsibility really well, Willem Defoe is a fantastic Green Goblin, and the movie is so corny and goofy that it’s impossible not to have a good time. Whether you’re enjoying it ironically or unironically, this movie is still a good time.
Spider-Man 3 can basically only be enjoyed ironically. Sure, it is a fascinating evolution of the themes of responsibility at the core of the series. But ‘evil’ Peter Parker didn’t work, there are too many villains cramming up the runtime, it’s version of Venom is absolutely terrible, and the whole script just feels awkward and disjointed. Still, you can’t deny that it’s fun to watch. Get together with your friends, have a few drinks, and laugh at it. For that, Spider-Man 3 goes into the B tier.
I don’t think anyone will be surprised to see the Amazing Spider-Man movies so low. Amazing Spider-Man has some fun moments and some descent action scenes, but the performances are pretty bad, the script is stupid, and the ending sucks ass. Andrew Garfield is a great actor, but he is not a good fit for Peter Parker.
Still, Amazing Spider-Man 1 is somewhat watchable. I wouldn’t say enjoyable, but it’s watchable. Hence, it goes into the C tier.
Do I even need to say why Amazing Spider-Man 2 is at the bottom? That movie is nigh unwatchable trash. Both as a film fan and as a Spider-Man fan, this movie doesn’t work. It is absolutely insufferable and I never want to watch it again.
Unfortunately, I’ll need to review it sooner or later. So I’ll have to.
Alright, that’s my Spider-Man movie tier list. If you disagree, too bad. You can’t change my mind. This is objective fact and if you have a different opinion then I’m afraid you’re the one who is wrong.
Can’t wait for people not to get that that was a joke.
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