Elden Ring is two months away. Which means it’s time to play through all of FromSoftware’s Souls games all over again! Joy and suffering in equal measures, let’s go!
However, as much as I love these games, I have to admit that they’re not all created equal. Some are clearly better than others. That, and I’m just not a fan of all of them. This divisive subject has caused arguments more heated and violent than the average pizza debate.
So of course I’m gonna throw myself head-first into it.
I can already hear all the comments telling me that I’m boring or that I’m a dumbass.
I feel like I don’t need to defend putting Bloodborne and Dark Souls at the top. Few people would argue the fact that these are two of the best games ever made. Both are brutally challenging, incredibly rewarding, and extremely engaging on both the gameplay and narrative fronts. Not to mention that they’re super addictive; I have lost count of the number of times I’ve finished both of these games.
Putting Dark Souls 3 beneath that might need some explaining. I love that game, don’t get me wrong. I love the faster pace, the lore is great, and it has my favorite boss in the entire series. But it just doesn’t have that spark that made Bloodborne and DS1 so damn addictive. I still love going back to it, just not as much as I do the first game.
People who know me might be surprised with me putting Demon’s Souls so low. I’ve talked about it extensively and made my affection for it well known. And I do love it; it’s clunky and rough around the edges, but you have to give it credit for being the first game of its kind. Besides, it still has plenty of cool stuff with the gameplay and the lore. Still, most of the bosses are lackluster and many of the areas are just frustrating. Besides, it really isn’t all that difficult when compared to the later games.
Sekiro is a pick that’s going to piss some people off. That game lit the god damn world on fire when it came out. But it just never did anything for me. It was definitely challenging, easily the hardest game of the lot. But I never found the lore all that interesting and I didn’t like that parrying was the only practical solution to any fight. It’s not a bad game by any means, I can definitely see its quality. It’s just that the game wasn’t for me.
Unlike Dark Souls 2. Which I do think is a bad game.
Sorry DS2 fans, but I cannot stand this game. Of the over forty bosses in this game, I only ever had fun with four of them. All the others are either infuriating or just straight-up lazy. So many bosses are just recycled assets or just “Remember this guy? Now there are two of them!”
Not to mention that this game has the worst level design out of any of these. I’m sorry, but if you’re going to even try and defend the Frigid Outskirts, then you and I cannot be friends. Any area where you literally cannot see what you’re doing half the time is awful and you can’t change my mind. The other areas aren’t nearly as bad, but they’re all frustrating or annoying in one way or another.
On top of that, the lore is super uninteresting. Even VaatiVidya barely touched this shit. Because there just isn’t much to touch. This game is packed to the brim with content, yet the story behind that content is sparse at best and non-existent at worst.
Oh yeah, and the game is clunky as fuck. Those hitboxes are fucking awful and I will not hear argument.
Is Dark Souls 2 the worst game ever made? No. It does have positive elements in there. But it is going to sit at the bottom of my tier list forever. The day I praise this game extensively is the day you guys will know I’ve been replaced by the government. Of all these games, this is the only one that I never want to play again.
So that’s my SoulsBorne tier list. Feel free to call me an idiot or whatever. I’ll stand by it. The only change it’s going to undergo is having Elden Ring on it come February.
God, please don’t join the low-tiers, Elden Ring…