I Finally Watched Game of Thrones (Season 7)

People say that season eight is the worst season of GoT. And it is! But people tend to forget that season seven was also really bad.

Winter is coming. Cersei continues to seize power in King’s Landing and prepares for the war against Daenerys. Meanwhile, the Mother of Dragons unites with the men of the Night’s Watch to battle against the Night King and his White Walkers. But even with her aide, it isn’t enough. Can the people of Westeros unite before the eternal night consumes them?

Let’s start with the things I liked. Don’t worry, this won’t take long. This ain’t as bad as the next season, but it sure ain’t good.

For one, the show looks as solid as ever. All of the sets look incredible, the CGI is top-tier movie quality, and the practical effects incredible. There are also some really clever editing moments and some wonderful cinematography. On a visual front, it all still looks incredible!

Sounds great, too! This season’s soundtrack has some pretty strong hitters. They add some extra drama and weight to scenes that desperately need it.

Because the writing ain’t doing its part. Which leads to the complaining.

All of the depth and intrigue that made Game of Thrones so wonderful is dead and buried at this point. None of the characters act like they used to. Smart characters say stupid shit and dumb characters just make constant cock jokes. Actually, scratch that. Everyone makes constant cock jokes. They’re never funny, they don’t fit the tone of the series, and they are relentless.

It doesn’t help that any sense of tension has long since evaporated. It is very clear which characters are invincible and which ones are disposable. The unpredictability that made the earlier seasons so iconic is a thing of the past. Not once do you doubt that the cast is going to make it out of a situation okay. Even if they make the dumbest fucking decisions possible!

For example: the good guys are trying to get Cersei to join their side against the ice zombies. What’s their master plan? Step one: go North. Step two: grab a zombie. Step three: show it to Cersei.

That plan. Is so. Fucking. Stupid. If they had tried this back in season three, everyone would have either laughed at it and come up with a real plan or just have gone with it and gotten slaughtered. Yet here, they all just… do it. They all go north, grab a zombie, then all the main characters escape without a scratch on them.

The best part is? Cersei didn’t even care. All they got out of it was Jaime. So… good job. You now have a one-handed swordsman to help you out.

My biggest problem, though, was with Jon and Daenerys. Everyone has already torn their romance apart, given that it actually gets worse in season eight. But let’s not forget that it was god awful in season seven, too. These two characters have zero romantic chemistry. Like, none. Fucking Anakin Skywalker and Padme had more chemistry than this. Yet it goes on to become the single most important element of the story! So much of it hinges on this shitty romantic subplot that only exists because of fan service and lazy writing!

And that’s all just the beginning! Because at least this season, as bad as it is, makes sense! The series of events that unfold is coherent, if unengaging. It’s not a good plot, but it is a plot.

Which I cannot say for season eight.