Green Hag: Queen of Deception and Misery

After reading about what all of these bitches do, I’m less than eager to go into what each one does individually.

Lore: *Fake Girly Voice* Help me! Oh, Gods!

Okay, I’ll apologize for that one. It wasn’t very good.

Green hags are masters of deception. Residing in dying lands, such as forests or swamps, they’ll lure travelers to their caves with fake cries for help or drive them away by mimicking dangerous animals. Nothing pleases them more than tragedy, and they’ll manipulate any fool who tries to bargain with them into a horrible fate.

Combined with the general lore of the hags, there is a ton you could do there. From simple encounters wherein you lure players into their lair using false cries for help to dramatic stories featuring many other hags. They may not be as versatile as some of the higher-up monsters on the list, but they’re definitely strong.

Design: The Wicked Witch of the Swamp

Quick! Pour water on her head! We’ll melt the bitch!

This isn’t exactly the most original design. It’s pretty much exactly what you’d expect from a hag. Green skin, long hair, witch-like nose, long fingernails, all of the usual clichés. It’s effective, but it doesn’t do much for me on the creative front.

Although you don’t even need to look at her, really. Just take one glance at what she’s holding and you’ll get everything you need to know. If a picture could tell a thousand words, this one would be a thousand-page epic.

Well… more of a horror than an epic.

Stats: Master of Illusions

A green hag is many things. A straight-forward fighter, she is not.

You might think so, given her defenses. She sports a fairly impressive AC of 17 and a near triple digit HP pool. Hit her with all you’ve got, she ain’t going down so easily.

She can also breath underwater. So… maybe don’t pour water on her.

She’s also got a few spells to use. These include:

At will: dancing lights, minor illusion, vicious mockery

Are any of these especially dangerous? No. But they can certainly disorient the players and make it harder for them to kill the hag.

Deception is the name of her game. With Mimicry, she can copy the sound of any animal or humanoid voice. With Illusory Appearance, it can change its form to look like another creature around her shape and size. With Invisible Passage, she could just straight-up turn invisible. She may not be able to do much physical damage, but she has a whole tool box dedicated entirely to fucking with your head.

Oh yeah, she also has claws. They do decent damage, I guess.

This can make for an interesting boss fight. The encounter is more about finding the hag and fighting through her illusions and psychological attacks in order to actually hit her. But when that time comes, the fight is basically over.

Placement

This was a fairly interesting monster. She’s got some cool lore, a creepy if non-creative design, and stats that make for a pretty creepy and interesting fight. She may not be as amazing as some of the higher-ups on the list, but she’s a strong one.

With all that in mind, let’s put the Green Hag on the Best of the Bestiary!

1. Beholder
2. Death Tyrant
3. Dragon Turtle
4. Green Dragons
5. Red Dragons
6. Blue Dragons
7. Black Dragons
8. White Dragons
9. Silver Dragons
10. Couatl
11. Behir
12. Aboleth
13. Bronze Dragons
14. Brass Dragons
15. Copper Dragons
16. Gold Dragons
17. Chuul
18. Gibbering Mouther
19. Chimera
20. Death Knight
21. Fomorian
22. Bone Devil
23. Dracolich
24. Faerie Dragon
25. Green Hag <——————
26. Ankheg
27. Storm Giant
28. Hill Giant
29. Empyrean
30. Efreeti
31. Grimlock
32. Dao
33. Cloud Giant
34. Drow (all four of ’em)
35. Shadow Demon
36. Marilith
37. Drider
38. Aarackockra
39. Azer
40. Demilich
41. Spectator
42. Marid
43. Cambion
44. Fire Giant
45. Animated Armor
46. Banshee
47. Basilisk
48. Yochlol
49. Bulette
50. Cloaker
51. Darkmantle
52. Doppelganger
53. Ghoul and Ghast
54. Ettin
55. Pit Fiend
56. Erinyes
57. Chain Devil
58. Bearded Devil
59. Barbed Devil
60. Spined Devil
61. Ice Devil
62. Djinni
63. Nalfeshnee
64. Glabrezu
65. Chasme
66. Grell
67. Barlgura
68. Horned Devil
69. Balor
70. Shadow Dragon
71. Vrock
72. Dretch
73. Gnolls (all three)
74. Goristro
75. Hezrou
76. Manes
77. Frost Giant
78. Duergar
79. Quasit
80. Dryad
81. Flumph
82. Goblin
83. Githyanki
84. Planetar
85. Imp
86. Clay Golem
87. Flameskull
88. Displacer Beast
89. Carrion Crawler
90. Githzerai
91. Grick
92. Rug of Smothering
93. Bugbear Chief
94. Bugbear
95. Flesh Golem
96. Vine Blight
97. Twig Blight
98. Needle Blight
99. Bullywug
100. Ettercap
101. Gas Spore
102. Cockatrice
103. Lemure
104. Solar
105. Deva
106. Gorgon
107. Griffon
108. Cyclops
109. Centaur
110. Ghost
111. Fire Elemental
112. Water Elemental
113. Air Elemental
114. Stone Giant
115. Deep Gnome
116. Dinosaurs (All six of them)
117. Iron Golem
118. Stone Golem
119. Earth Elemental
120. Galeb Duhr
121. Flying Sword
122. Crawling Claw
123. Violet Fungus
124. Shrieker
125. Gargoyle