Best of the Beastiary, D&D

Green Hag: Queen of Deception and Misery

After reading about what all of these bitches do, I’m less than eager to go into what each one does individually.

Lore: *Fake Girly Voice* Help me! Oh, Gods!

Okay, I’ll apologize for that one. It wasn’t very good.

Green hags are masters of deception. Residing in dying lands, such as forests or swamps, they’ll lure travelers to their caves with fake cries for help or drive them away by mimicking dangerous animals. Nothing pleases them more than tragedy, and they’ll manipulate any fool who tries to bargain with them into a horrible fate.

Combined with the general lore of the hags, there is a ton you could do there. From simple encounters wherein you lure players into their lair using false cries for help to dramatic stories featuring many other hags. They may not be as versatile as some of the higher-up monsters on the list, but they’re definitely strong.

Design: The Wicked Witch of the Swamp

Quick! Pour water on her head! We’ll melt the bitch!

Where do you think she got that heart? Are you sure you want to know?

This isn’t exactly the most original design. It’s pretty much exactly what you’d expect from a hag. Green skin, long hair, witch-like nose, long fingernails, all of the usual clichés. It’s effective, but it doesn’t do much for me on the creative front.

Although you don’t even need to look at her, really. Just take one glance at what she’s holding and you’ll get everything you need to know. If a picture could tell a thousand words, this one would be a thousand-page epic.

Well… more of a horror than an epic.

Stats: Master of Illusions

A green hag is many things. A straight-forward fighter, she is not.

You might think so, given her defenses. She sports a fairly impressive AC of 17 and a near triple digit HP pool. Hit her with all you’ve got, she ain’t going down so easily.

She can also breath underwater. So… maybe don’t pour water on her.

She’s also got a few spells to use. These include:

At will: dancing lights, minor illusion, vicious mockery

Are any of these especially dangerous? No. But they can certainly disorient the players and make it harder for them to kill the hag.

Deception is the name of her game. With Mimicry, she can copy the sound of any animal or humanoid voice. With Illusory Appearance, it can change its form to look like another creature around her shape and size. With Invisible Passage, she could just straight-up turn invisible. She may not be able to do much physical damage, but she has a whole tool box dedicated entirely to fucking with your head.

Oh yeah, she also has claws. They do decent damage, I guess.

This can make for an interesting boss fight. The encounter is more about finding the hag and fighting through her illusions and psychological attacks in order to actually hit her. But when that time comes, the fight is basically over.

Placement

This was a fairly interesting monster. She’s got some cool lore, a creepy if non-creative design, and stats that make for a pretty creepy and interesting fight. She may not be as amazing as some of the higher-ups on the list, but she’s a strong one.

With all that in mind, let’s put the Green Hag on the Best of the Bestiary!

  1. Beholder
  2. Death Tyrant
  3. Dragon Turtle
  4. Green Dragons
  5. Red Dragons
  6. Blue Dragons
  7. Black Dragons
  8. White Dragons
  9. Silver Dragons
  10. Couatl
  11. Behir
  12. Aboleth
  13. Bronze Dragons
  14. Brass Dragons
  15. Copper Dragons
  16. Gold Dragons
  17. Chuul
  18. Gibbering Mouther
  19. Chimera
  20. Death Knight
  21. Fomorian
  22. Bone Devil
  23. Dracolich
  24. Faerie Dragon
  25. Green Hag <——————
  26. Ankheg
  27. Storm Giant
  28. Hill Giant
  29. Empyrean
  30. Efreeti
  31. Grimlock
  32. Dao
  33. Cloud Giant
  34. Drow (all four of ’em)
  35. Shadow Demon
  36. Marilith
  37. Drider
  38. Aarackockra
  39. Azer
  40. Demilich
  41. Spectator
  42. Marid
  43. Cambion
  44. Fire Giant
  45. Animated Armor
  46. Banshee
  47. Basilisk
  48. Yochlol
  49. Bulette
  50. Cloaker
  51. Darkmantle
  52. Doppelganger
  53. Ghoul and Ghast
  54. Ettin
  55. Pit Fiend
  56. Erinyes
  57. Chain Devil
  58. Bearded Devil
  59. Barbed Devil
  60. Spined Devil
  61. Ice Devil
  62. Djinni
  63. Nalfeshnee
  64. Glabrezu
  65. Chasme
  66. Grell
  67. Barlgura
  68. Horned Devil
  69. Balor
  70. Shadow Dragon
  71. Vrock
  72. Dretch
  73. Gnolls (all three)
  74. Goristro
  75. Hezrou
  76. Manes
  77. Frost Giant
  78. Duergar
  79. Quasit
  80. Dryad
  81. Flumph
  82. Goblin
  83. Githyanki
  84. Planetar
  85. Imp
  86. Clay Golem
  87. Flameskull
  88. Displacer Beast
  89. Carrion Crawler
  90. Githzerai
  91. Grick
  92. Rug of Smothering
  93. Bugbear Chief
  94. Bugbear
  95. Flesh Golem
  96. Vine Blight
  97. Twig Blight
  98. Needle Blight
  99. Bullywug
  100. Ettercap
  101. Gas Spore
  102. Cockatrice
  103. Lemure
  104. Solar
  105. Deva
  106. Gorgon
  107. Griffon
  108. Cyclops
  109. Centaur
  110. Ghost
  111. Fire Elemental
  112. Water Elemental
  113. Air Elemental
  114. Stone Giant
  115. Deep Gnome
  116. Dinosaurs (All six of them)
  117. Iron Golem
  118. Stone Golem
  119. Earth Elemental
  120. Galeb Duhr
  121. Flying Sword
  122. Crawling Claw
  123. Violet Fungus
  124. Shrieker
  125. Gargoyle

1 thought on “Green Hag: Queen of Deception and Misery”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s