Grimlock: That Kid That Yelled Slurs on Xbox Live

You’ll understand that joke in a bit, I promise.

Lore: Blind Faith

Grimlocks are vile creatures who live in the Underdark. Once, they were human. But their worship of the mind flayers slowly transformed them into the blind cannibals that we see today.

Long ago, the mind flayers had an empire that stretched across many worlds. Among them were human priests, who were duped by the cosmic monsters into worshipping them rather than their true gods. The illithids became their new blasphemous gods, and the followers became the creatures’ slaves. Eventually, their rituals became more gruesome, to the point where they would eat the corpse whose brain had been consumed by their gods.

When the illithid empire collapsed, the victims of the grimlocks waged wars of vengeance against them. In order to survive, they fled into the Underdark, where they continued their worship. However, over time, they came to lose the use of their eyes. However, their other senses, such as hearing and smell, rose to new, monstrous levels, to the point that their blindness has become a boon rather than a weakness.

Even still, grimlocks worship the mind flayers. Not only that, but they consider the war in which they were driven underground to not be over. As such, they will still rise to the surface to attack and claim victims for their alien gods.

The lore here is actually super cool! Sure, it’s basically just a spice for a mind-flayer centered campaign. But you can still do some really fun stuff with it! It’s not just another wild animal or mindless monster!

Despite what you might believe by looking at it…

Design: The Title Joke

Look at this design, understand my opening joke, then tell me I’m funny.

This is a really simple design. It’s an ugly, troll-looking motherfucker. Just by looking at him, you can tell what he smells like. Spoiler alert: it ain’t a nice scent.

While it is simple, I do think it’s a perfect design for this particular monster. Plus, it has a ton of subtle details! Note how the eyes are missing, its sockets empty. Underdark lore, anyone?

It also looks distinctly human in many ways. Yes, it’s body is saggy and gray and gross. But it doesn’t have any massive claws or tentacles or a long tongue. It very much looks like a gross, mutated human.

Except for those ears. Those look more like elf ears. But that’s a small detail, so I can let it pass.

It isn’t as creative or horrifying as something like the beholder or the gibbering mouther. But it’s still a pretty good design. It’d put it in the B-B+ range.

Now, how does it fight?

Stats: He Can Smell You

Wow. This dude is… really boring. Damn. We almost had 3/3 quality.

Defense wise, this dude is pitiful. Its HP and AC are the same, both a tragic 11. Sure, you can’t blind it. But why would you need to when one or two swings with an axe will kill it anyways? The only advantage it has is with Stealth checks in rocky terrain!

In terms of actions, it’s literally as simple as it gets. It has a club and it whacks you with it. That’s it. No special effects, no spells, nothing. It just hits you with a stick until you put it down.

This is 100% a fodder monster. If you need an introductory enemy for a mind flayer campaign, this is your guy. But if you want anything more than this, you’d best be looking elsewhere.

Placement

Overall, this was a surprisingly interesting monster. Its lore and design are both incredibly solid. I just wish it made for a more interesting fight than ‘hit it until it dies’.

With all that in mind, let’s put the Grimlock on the Best of the Bestiary!

1. Beholder
2. Death Tyrant
3. Dragon Turtle
4. Green Dragons
5. Red Dragons
6. Blue Dragons
7. Black Dragons
8. White Dragons
9. Silver Dragons
10. Couatl
11. Behir
12. Aboleth
13. Bronze Dragons
14. Brass Dragons
15. Copper Dragons
16. Gold Dragons
17. Chuul
18. Gibbering Mouther
19. Chimera
20. Death Knight
21. Fomorian
22. Bone Devil
23. Dracolich
24. Faerie Dragon
25. Ankheg
26. Storm Giant
27. Hill Giant
28. Empyrean
29. Efreeti
30. Grimlock <—————–
31. Dao
32. Cloud Giant
33. Drow (all four of ’em)
34. Shadow Demon
35. Marilith
36. Drider
37. Aarackockra
38. Azer
39. Demilich
40. Spectator
41. Marid
42. Cambion
43. Fire Giant
44. Animated Armor
45. Banshee
46. Basilisk
47. Yochlol
48. Bulette
49. Cloaker
50. Darkmantle
51. Doppelganger
52. Ghoul and Ghast
53. Ettin
54. Pit Fiend
55. Erinyes
56. Chain Devil
57. Bearded Devil
58. Barbed Devil
59. Spined Devil
60. Ice Devil
61. Djinni
62. Nalfeshnee
63. Glabrezu
64. Chasme
65. Grell
66. Barlgura
67. Horned Devil
68. Balor
69. Shadow Dragon
70. Vrock
71. Dretch
72. Gnolls (all three)
73. Goristro
74. Hezrou
75. Manes
76. Frost Giant
77. Duergar
78. Quasit
79. Dryad
80. Flumph
81. Goblin
82. Githyanki
83. Planetar
84. Imp
85. Clay Golem
86. Flameskull
87. Displacer Beast
88. Carrion Crawler
89. Githzerai
90. Grick
91. Rug of Smothering
92. Bugbear Chief
93. Bugbear
94. Flesh Golem
95. Vine Blight
96. Twig Blight
97. Needle Blight
98. Bullywug
99. Ettercap
100. Gas Spore
101. Cockatrice
102. Lemure
103. Solar
104. Deva
105. Gorgon
106. Griffon
107. Cyclops
108. Centaur
109. Ghost
110. Fire Elemental
111. Water Elemental
112. Air Elemental
113. Stone Giant
114. Deep Gnome
115. Dinosaurs (All six of them)
116. Iron Golem
117. Stone Golem
118. Earth Elemental
119. Galeb Duhr
120. Flying Sword
121. Crawling Claw
122. Violet Fungus
123. Shrieker
124. Gargoyle