I Finally Watched Game of Thrones (Season 5)

It’s been a hot minute. May as well hop back onto this train. We’ve come this far, we should at least see it through to the end. Even if the train is going to fly off a fucking cliff.

Up to this point, Game of Thrones has been pretty faithful to the original Song of Ice and Fire books. However, it’s at this point that the writers started reaching the end of the material offered up in said novels. So this is where they start to make things up on their own. And… it just doesn’t work for me.

An uneasy peace has come to Westeros. King Joffrey is dead, and now his brother Tommen sits upon the Iron Throne. Up in the north, Stannis has taken refuge at Castle Black to further prepare for his war effort, as well as to aide the Night’s Watch, now led by Jon Snow, in preparing for the battle against the White Walkers. And to the East, Daenerys Targaryen is faced with the difficulties of ruling a kingdom. Luckily for her, a certain dwarf, exiled from his home, is stumbling his way towards her.

Up to this point, I’ve had mixed feelings on the various plotlines of the show. I’ve loved some and been disinterested in others. But I’ve always had enough to make me want to keep going, no matter how much I disliked the others.

Here? I don’t really care for any of these plotlines!

While it is cool to see Cersei become more active, like she does around this point in the books, her whole plot with the Tyrells and the High Sparrow couldn’t bore me more. Jaime and Bronn going off to Dorne together doesn’t do anything for me and feels like desperate fan-service; “Maybe if we put two fan-favorite characters together, the audience will like it!” Sansa going back north with Little Finger and reuniting with Theon is alright, but it doesn’t do much since I’ve never liked either character. And for some reason, I can’t bring myself to care at all about Arya training to become an assassin; isn’t that normally supposed to be really cool? Why is it so boring?

My biggest problem is with Tyrion. At this point in the books, his personality has gone off into the deep end. The dude was broken by the trial and the revelations that came after and he became a bitter, hateful little person. But in the show, he’s just… the same. Except now he can’t bring himself to have sex with whores. Yes, because of all the mental problems that could occur from being betrayed by your own family, murdering the woman you love and your father in the same night, and being forced to flee your only home, not being able to sleep with whores is definitely the most interesting one!

Not to say that the writing is all bad. Jon making alliances with the wildlings is kind of cool, even if it showcases how terrible of a leader he really is. And the reveal of the Night King was pretty awesome, and that wasn’t in the book! And Jon’s death at the end of the season felt pretty in-line with the established tone of Game of Thrones.

Shame the writers pussed out and brought him back to life…

Visually speaking, the show is as solid as ever. The sets all look great, the music is solid, and the CGI is movie-level stuff. Although I have to wonder: why are all of the costumes just becoming black? Like, 90% of the cast is wearing nothing but black all of the time! Has everyone in Westeros suddenly joined the Night’s Watch? Where did the colors go?

I don’t hate this season. But so far, it’s definitely the least interesting one yet. This is where Game of Thrones stops being the masterpiece that it has been up through season four. Now, we’re walking through the mediocre phase.

Which won’t be nearly as painful as the ‘god awful piece of shit phase’.

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