Best of the Beastiary, D&D

Gorgon: No, Not the Greek Kind

You know, when I read ‘gorgon’ in the book, I expected… I dunno, something a bit more like Medusa. Not a metal bull thing. But hey, they can both petrify people! I… guess.

Where the hell did this thing come from?

Lore: Metal Bull Thing

The lore here is… non-existent. It’s just three paragraphs describing how the gorgon acts and how it hunts. The thing is basically just a wild animal covered in metal.

Boring. Next.

Design: The only joke I can think of is ‘Iron Bull’, but if I made that I’d have to turn in my comedy license, so I’m not going to make that joke

I have more to say in the transition to this section than the section itself.

It kinda looks like a mediocre Pokemon

It’s design is as boring as the lore. It’s a bull. And it’s made of metal. It’s breathing out some green smoke, which is kinda cool. But… I mean, come on. Look at it!

Metal bull thing. That’s all it is. Very boring. Next.

Stats: Build You Up to Knock You Down

Get it? Because it turns you into a statue and then crushes you? *Sigh* Alright, here you go. *Hands over Comedy License to the Comedy Police*

In terms of defenses, this is a pretty durable monster. Its AC is just shy of 20 and its HP is just into the triple digit realm. You’d think it would be resistant to non-magical melee, given that it’s made of metal, but no. It is immune to petrification, though!

As you’d expect from the bull monster, it has the Trampling Charge ability. If it moves 20ft in a straight line towards one creature, said creature needs to make a strength saving throw. Those that fail will be knocked prone.

Which makes them very vulnerable to the rest of its extremely simple moveset.

Granted, it’s a powerful moveset. If it hits you with the Gore action, you’ll be taking 2d12+5 piercing damage. Get hit by its Hooves action and you’ll be taking 2d10+5 bludgeoning.

But none of that is as dangerous as its Petrifying Breath ability. This does exactly what you’d think it would do. Fail a save, get turned into stone. And if no one in the party has the Greater Restoration spell or something even stronger, you’re going to stay that way.

Aside from that one move, though, it’s a very straight-forward fight. Once it uses its breath, all of its surprises and entertainment quickly vanishes. It just becomes another ‘hit it until it dies’ monster.

Placement

This was a very boring monster. Its lore basically doesn’t exist, its design is incredibly boring and straight-forward, and its stats make for an alright fight at best. It’s a fairly bland and forgettable entry.

With all that in mind, let’s put the Gorgon on the Best of the Bestiary!

  1. Beholder
  2. Death Tyrant
  3. Dragon Turtle
  4. Green Dragons
  5. Red Dragons
  6. Blue Dragons
  7. Black Dragons
  8. White Dragons
  9. Silver Dragons
  10. Couatl
  11. Behir
  12. Aboleth
  13. Bronze Dragons
  14. Brass Dragons
  15. Copper Dragons
  16. Gold Dragons
  17. Chuul
  18. Gibbering Mouther
  19. Chimera
  20. Death Knight
  21. Fomorian
  22. Bone Devil
  23. Dracolich
  24. Faerie Dragon
  25. Ankheg
  26. Storm Giant
  27. Hill Giant
  28. Empyrean
  29. Efreeti
  30. Dao
  31. Cloud Giant
  32. Drow (all four of ’em)
  33. Shadow Demon
  34. Marilith
  35. Drider
  36. Aarackockra
  37. Azer
  38. Demilich
  39. Spectator
  40. Marid
  41. Cambion
  42. Fire Giant
  43. Animated Armor
  44. Banshee
  45. Basilisk
  46. Yochlol
  47. Bulette
  48. Cloaker
  49. Darkmantle
  50. Doppelganger
  51. Ghoul and Ghast
  52. Ettin
  53. Pit Fiend
  54. Erinyes
  55. Chain Devil
  56. Bearded Devil
  57. Barbed Devil
  58. Spined Devil
  59. Ice Devil
  60. Djinni
  61. Nalfeshnee
  62. Glabrezu
  63. Chasme
  64. Barlgura
  65. Horned Devil
  66. Balor
  67. Shadow Dragon
  68. Vrock
  69. Dretch
  70. Gnolls (all three)
  71. Goristro
  72. Hezrou
  73. Manes
  74. Frost Giant
  75. Duergar
  76. Quasit
  77. Dryad
  78. Flumph
  79. Goblin
  80. Githyanki
  81. Planetar
  82. Imp
  83. Clay Golem
  84. Flameskull
  85. Displacer Beast
  86. Carrion Crawler
  87. Githzerai
  88. Rug of Smothering
  89. Bugbear Chief
  90. Bugbear
  91. Flesh Golem
  92. Vine Blight
  93. Twig Blight
  94. Needle Blight
  95. Bullywug
  96. Ettercap
  97. Gas Spore
  98. Cockatrice
  99. Lemure
  100. Solar
  101. Deva
  102. Gorgon <———————
  103. Cyclops
  104. Centaur
  105. Ghost
  106. Fire Elemental
  107. Water Elemental
  108. Air Elemental
  109. Stone Giant
  110. Deep Gnome
  111. Dinosaurs (All six of them)
  112. Iron Golem
  113. Stone Golem
  114. Earth Elemental
  115. Galeb Duhr
  116. Flying Sword
  117. Crawling Claw
  118. Violet Fungus
  119. Shrieker
  120. Gargoyle

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