Clay Golem: Like the Batman Villain, Except Not

Can we just replace this one with Clayface? I’d be fine with that.

The more rigid it’s physical form, the less likely the golem is to lose its sense of purpose. The clay ones can be a bit twitchy.

Words of warning in the Manual of Clay Golems

Clay golems are pretty simple. They’re made to protect sacred shrines. Their bodies are infused with a sacred spirit. When the spirit leaves, the remaining body flies on a rampage.

Aaaand that’s it. Okay, moving on.

Design: Did a kid build this one?

These guys are supposed to be built by experts, right? You’re telling me an expert made this?

Well, you’re getting exactly what the lore tells you you’re getting. It’s a mound of clay given life. It certainly looks like it could pack a punch and it looks very angery. But… there’s nothing else to it, really.

On the bright side: getting a model of this should be easy! Just give a kid a mound of clay and tell ’em to make it look like a dude! You’ll have one within the hour!

Stats: Thick, Wet, and Durable

I didn’t mean for that to be an innuendo, but… you know what? Let’s just move on.

Killing a clay golem is a proper pain in the ass. Its AC isn’t all that high, but it more than makes up for it by being immune to acid (it actually heals when hit with acid, because why not?), poison, psychic, and all melee damage not imbued with magic. And charm, exhaustion, frighten, paralysis, petrification, and poison. It’s also immune to any spell that may alter its form (no polymorph), has advantage on all saving throws against magical effects, and all of its attacks are imbued with magical properties. Combine all of that with its triple-digit HP and you’ve got a fight that’ll last a while.

Its primary deadly ability is Berserk. When its HP drops to 60 or lower, you roll a d6. On a 6, the golem flies into a rampage, relentlessly attacking anything close to it. So… all it really does is encourage it to attack. Maybe not so deadly after all.

What is deadly is its Slam attack. Damage wise, it is pretty deadly. But it also has an ability that forces you to make a DC 15 Con save. Fail that, and your maximum HP is reduced by the damage, not just your current HP pool. If that reduces your HP to zero, you are dead. Only magic like Greater Restoration can fix the effect.

Hope you can roll well. Because it can do this twice per turn.

It can also give itself Haste! This allows it to use Slam as a bonus action, gives it a +2 to AC, and it gains advantage on all dexterity saving throws. This lasts until the end of its next turn. And if you roll a 5 or 6, it gets that ability right back!

Overall, it’s a fairly simple but compelling boss fight. It’s durable as hell and its abilities are highly dangerous. It can easily become tedious if you aren’t careful, but it is certainly a deadly foe to pit your players against.

Placement

It saved it right at the last second! The lore is boring and the design even more so. But the stats managed to save it right at the end! It’s still not a top-ten tier monster, but it’s certainly above the bottom ten!

With all that in mind, let’s put the Clay Golem on the Best of the Bestiary!

1. Beholder
2. Death Tyrant
3. Dragon Turtle
4. Green Dragons
5. Red Dragons
6. Blue Dragons
7. Black Dragons
8. White Dragons
9. Silver Dragons
10. Couatl
11. Behir
12. Aboleth
13. Bronze Dragons
14. Brass Dragons
15. Copper Dragons
16. Gold Dragons
17. Chuul
18. Gibbering Mouther
19. Chimera
20. Death Knight
21. Fomorian
22. Bone Devil
23. Dracolich
24. Faerie Dragon
25. Ankheg
26. Storm Giant
27. Hill Giant
28. Empyrean
29. Efreeti
30. Dao
31. Cloud Giant
32. Drow (all four of ’em)
33. Shadow Demon
34. Marilith
35. Drider
36. Aarackockra
37. Azer
38. Demilich
39. Spectator
40. Marid
41. Cambion
42. Fire Giant
43. Animated Armor
44. Banshee
45. Basilisk
46. Yochlol
47. Bulette
48. Cloaker
49. Darkmantle
50. Doppelganger
51. Ghoul and Ghast
52. Ettin
53. Pit Fiend
54. Erinyes
55. Chain Devil
56. Bearded Devil
57. Barbed Devil
58. Spined Devil
59. Ice Devil
60. Djinni
61. Nalfeshnee
62. Glabrezu
63. Chasme
64. Barlgura
65. Horned Devil
66. Balor
67. Shadow Dragon
68. Vrock
69. Dretch
70. Gnolls (all three)
71. Goristro
72. Hezrou
73. Manes
74. Frost Giant
75. Duergar
76. Quasit
77. Dryad
78. Flumph
79. Goblin
80. Githyanki
81. Planetar
82. Imp
83. Clay Golem <——————–
84. Flameskull
85. Displacer Beast
86. Carrion Crawler
87. Githzerai
88. Rug of Smothering
89. Bugbear Chief
90. Bugbear
91. Vine Blight
92. Twig Blight
93. Needle Blight
94. Bullywug
95. Ettercap
96. Gas Spore
97. Cockatrice
98. Lemure
99. Solar
100. Deva
101. Cyclops
102. Centaur
103. Ghost
104. Fire Elemental
105. Water Elemental
106. Air Elemental
107. Stone Giant
108. Deep Gnome
109. Dinosaurs (All six of them)
110. Earth Elemental
111. Galeb Duhr
112. Flying Sword
113. Crawling Claw
114. Violet Fungus
115. Shrieker
116. Gargoyle