Fungi: Yes, I’m Serious

Move over, Beholder! Get lost, Dragons! It’s time to talk about the most legendary D&D foe of all time: fungi!

What the hell? Why is this a thing? And why is there so much?! Between the lore and the stats, these guys take up two whole pages! Who put so much thought into magic fungi?! Who on the writing staff fought for that?!

Probably someone who’d been playing too much of The Last of Us, considering how some of this shit works.

Lore: Magic Mushrooms and Not the Fun Kind

I love how a good half of this lore page is just explaining how fungi works. Because if there’s one thing I wanted in my Dungeons and Dragons handbook, it was a science lecture.

The only real lore worth analyzing is in the Gas Spore. These spores, thought to be spawned from the corpses of a beholder, are among the deadliest natural phenomena in the universe. Not only do they take the form of a beholder, at least in part, they also inherit their memories. Deadlier yet, they are a parasite. When one explodes, it infects its victims, which then produce even more still. If kept unchecked, a single gas spore could mark the end of civilization itself.

Wow. Wasn’t expecting something like that from the fungi section, but okay.

Stats: You’re fighting fungi. Welcome to Dungeons and Dragons.

If you’re seriously considering making your party fight these guys, then make sure you put a lot against them. An encounter with only one would last all of five seconds. Of real-life time.

In terms of build, none of these guys are durable. They have an AC of 5 each with HP ranging from 1 to 18. The only impressive thing about them is their immunity to basically every condition in the book.

Shocker! You can’t charm a mushroom!

Both the Shrieker and the Violet Fungus have the False Appearance ability, so it looks no different from usual fungi. Gas Spores lack in this ability, however. Instead, they have the Eerie Resemblance ability, which makes them resemble a beholder. With a DC 15 Nature check, you can see it for what it is.

How you actually utilize this ability, I have no idea.

Gas Spores also have the Death Burst ability. This is the only move they have that isn’t a total joke. The Gas Spore sacrifices itself, exploding in a twenty foot range. Everyone within that range must make a DC 15 Con save or take 10(3d6) poison damage and become infected.

These spores, if not dealt with quickly, are a literal death sentence. A victim only has a number of hours equal to 1d12+their CON modifier to live. If they don’t get help within that time, they become poisoned and die. From the corpse, another 2d4 gas spores emerge, which grow to full size in 7 days.

Wanna run a Last of Us campaign? Here you go.

Shriekers don’t have any actions, like the other two. They can only react. When in bright light or when a creature is close enough, they’ll emit a powerful shriek (woulda thought). It does this until the perceived threat is gone. Meaning it literally can’t attack anyone.

The Violet Fungus is a little better in that regard. It has a move called Rotting Touch, which does 1d8 necrotic damage. Roll 1d4 to decide how many of those it can make in a turn. It’s not much, but it can be pretty bad for a low-level party if the DM rolls for maximum number of hits.

Once again, the Gas Spore is the one to look out for. This guy has the Touch action, which only does a measly 1 poison damage. However, if you fail a DC 10 Con save, you’ll end up infected with the same disease you’d get from a Death Burst. Basically, if the party is rolling really poorly, this guy won’t even need to blow itself up to get a TPK.

To be honest: I have no love for either the Shrieker or the Violet Fungus. They sound like fun environmental hazards, but that’s about it. Only the Gas Spore seems like an enemy that could be fun to play with. And that’s because it’s abilities are so cheap and deadly that it would scare the hell out of my players.

What can I say? I love watching people piss themselves.

Placement

I’ll be real with you: the Shrieker and the Violet Fungus are going straight to the bottom. They’re literally just fungi. Nothing really worth talking about.

The Gas Spore will place a little higher than that, though. You could actually do some fun stuff with that. If you need a quick enemy for a horror campaign, I can think of no monster better. But it still isn’t all that impressive.

With all that in mind, let’s put the Fungi on the Best of the Bestiary!

1. Beholder
2. Death Tyrant
3. Dragon Turtle
4. Green Dragons
5. Red Dragons
6. Blue Dragons
7. Black Dragons
8. White Dragons
9. Silver Dragons
10. Couatl
11. Behir
12. Aboleth
13. Bronze Dragons
14. Brass Dragons
15. Copper Dragons
16. Gold Dragons
17. Chuul
18. Chimera
19. Death Knight
20. Fomorian
21. Bone Devil
22. Dracolich
23. Faerie Dragon
24. Ankheg
25. Empyrean
26. Drow (all four of ’em)
27. Shadow Demon
28. Marilith
29. Drider
30. Aarackockra
31. Azer
32. Demilich
33. Spectator
34. Cambion
35. Animated Armor
36. Banshee
37. Basilisk
38. Yochlol
39. Bulette
40. Cloaker
41. Darkmantle
42. Doppelganger
43. Ettin
44. Pit Fiend
45. Erinyes
46. Chain Devil
47. Bearded Devil
48. Barbed Devil
49. Spined Devil
50. Ice Devil
51. Nalfeshnee
52. Glabrezu
53. Chasme
54. Barlgura
55. Horned Devil
56. Balor
57. Shadow Dragon
58. Vrock
59. Dretch
60. Goristro
61. Hezrou
62. Manes
63. Duergar
64. Quasit
65. Dryad
66. Flumph
67. Planetar
68. Imp
69. Flameskull
70. Displacer Beast
71. Carrion Crawler
72. Rug of Smothering
73. Bugbear Chief
74. Bugbear
75. Vine Blight
76. Twig Blight
77. Needle Blight
78. Bullywug
79. Ettercap
80. Gas Spore <———————
81. Cockatrice
82. Lemure
83. Solar
84. Deva
85. Cyclops
86. Centaur
87. Fire Elemental
88. Water Elemental
89. Air Elemental
90. Dinosaurs (All six of them)
91. Earth Elemental
92. Flying Sword
93. Crawling Claw
94. Violet Fungus <——————-
95. Shrieker <———————–