Faerie Dragon: A Neon Cat With Wings

Oh hey! Another dragon! Kind of! Cool!

This is the single least dangerous monster we’ve discussed so far. Hell, maybe even in the entire book! It’s so weak, in fact, that it’s pretty clear that you aren’t supposed to even fight it. Doing so would just be a waste of time and resources.

Is it a bad monster? Not by any means! In fact, I think it’s one of the better ones!

Lore: Scaly Tricksters

Four whole paragraphs! How refreshingly brief!

Faerie dragons are like the naughty kid on the playground. Always causing trouble, always a shit-eating grin on its face. That is, until someone punches them for being an asshole. Then they get upset, even if they totally deserved it.

A giggle is the only warning of their presence. They observe their victims invisibly, assailing them with pranks from a safe distance. It may reveal itself when it’s had its fun, depending on their victim’s disposition. Did they take the joke well? It might show up. Are they pissed? They might never know the culprit.

Despite their love for pranks, faerie dragons are friendly creatures. They have a fondness for treasure and sweets, as well as good company. If a group can match the dragon’s wry sense of humor, or offer it something tasty or valuable, they can gain safe passage through its territory or even information of the surrounding area.

The scales of a faerie dragon changes as it grows older. With each change, they gain all new magic spells. By the time it becomes a violet faerie dragon, the oldest of the lot, it will have a wide selection of troublesome, although weak, spells.

Although it does get polymorph. Which is… problematic.

This lore is perfect for a fun little non-combat oriented encounter. Want to give the players something fun to do without making them murder? Have a faerie dragon show up to fuck with them! Plus, you can give them some information if you want, making it an easy way to start new plotlines!

Can you make a whole questline out of it? With a bit of creativity and a few other monsters, maybe! But on its own? It isn’t an especially deep pool of lore. Fun, but not all that malleable.

Design: The Butterfly Dragon

I love this thing’s design so much! It just screams “CHAOS!!” and it puts a smile on my face!

The big element for me is the butterfly wings. It’s such a simple change from the usual scaly wings of a normal dragon. But it creates such a strong divide between them and this! You can immediately pick out a few things.

• It is a magical creature, probably fey
• It isn’t as dangerous as its larger counterparts
• It’s more at home in lively forest areas than dark caves

You know. If the bright colors didn’t tell you any of that.

At the same time, however, it does have a dangerous edge to it. Small or not, fairy or not, this is still a dragon. Just look at the aforementioned face and muscles! This thing could very well defend itself, if need be.

Granted, it is only as large as a cat. You could still kill it pretty easily.

Stats: The Troll Dragon

I don’t mean like a troll, the monster. I mean like an internet troll. But in fantasy life.

Defense wise, this thing is basically a wet paper towel. The AC isn’t bad, but with an HP beneath 20? And no resistances? You wouldn’t need all that much time to kill it. It’s not a beefy monster.

So, how does it keep up? Simple! By being the trickiest motherfucker in this entire book!

Magic Resistance on its own is bad enough. But then you factor in its Limited Telepathy and Superior Invisibility. Not only will you not be able to see it, but it can mock you for not being able to cast magical effects on it! Actually finding the little bastard is a huge pain in the ass!

And then there are its spells.

• Red scales, 1/day each: dancing lights, mage hand, minor illusion
• Orange scales, 1/day: color spray
• Yellow scales, 1/day: mirror image
• Green scales, 1/day: suggestion
• Blue scales, 1/day: major image
• Indigo scales, 1/day: hallucinatory terrain
• Violet scales, 1/day: polymorph

Do you know your players are assholes who will try to pick a fight with this thing? Make it a violet faerie dragon. Really piss ’em off.

Then there’s its breath ability, Euphoria Breath. This can take a few effects if the victim fails the saving throw (which isn’t hard, the DC is pretty low). They can either take no actions and move in a random direction, or do absolutely nothing. This thing can literally make you so high that you can’t do anything to defend yourself.

Oh yeah. It also has a bite attack. Which does 1 damage. Literally only 1. Which is the single weakest attack we’ve discussed so far. That’s not hyperbole, that is an actual fact. Which I find to be equal parts perplexing and hilarious.

You can tell that this isn’t a monster the players are meant to fight. It’s not powerful or dangerous. It’s just a mischievous little bastard. In all likelihood, it would be dead before the fight even started.

Though even the meanest party might take pity when they hear that it only does one damage. That, or they’ll really enjoy killing it. In the ladder case, maybe reconsider your choice in friends, cause they’re clearly psychotic.

Placement

This monster is so much damn fun! It is absolutely perfect for a quick, non-violent encounter! Do you want to point your players in the right direction? Maybe you just wanna fuck with ’em a bit? Either way, this monster is the perfect choice!

With all that in mind, let’s put the Faerie Dragon on the Best of the Bestiary!

1. Beholder
2. Death Tyrant
3. Dragon Turtle
4. Green Dragons
5. Red Dragons
6. Blue Dragons
7. Black Dragons
8. White Dragons
9. Silver Dragons
10. Couatl
11. Behir
12. Aboleth
13. Bronze Dragons
14. Brass Dragons
15. Copper Dragons
16. Gold Dragons
17. Chuul
18. Chimera
19. Death Knight
20. Bone Devil
21. Dracolich
22. Faerie Dragon <—————————-
23. Ankheg
24. Empyrean
25. Drow (all four of ’em)
26. Shadow Demon
27. Marilith
28. Drider
29. Aarackockra
30. Azer
31. Demilich
32. Spectator
33. Cambion
34. Animated Armor
35. Banshee
36. Basilisk
37. Yochlol
38. Bulette
39. Cloaker
40. Darkmantle
41. Doppelganger
42. Ettin
43. Pit Fiend
44. Erinyes
45. Chain Devil
46. Bearded Devil
47. Barbed Devil
48. Spined Devil
49. Ice Devil
50. Nalfeshnee
51. Glabrezu
52. Chasme
53. Barlgura
54. Horned Devil
55. Balor
56. Shadow Dragon
57. Vrock
58. Dretch
59. Goristro
60. Hezrou
61. Manes
62. Duergar
63. Quasit
64. Dryad
65. Planetar
66. Imp
67. Displacer Beast
68. Carrion Crawler
69. Rug of Smothering
70. Bugbear Chief
71. Bugbear
72. Vine Blight
73. Twig Blight
74. Needle Blight
75. Bullywug
76. Ettercap
77. Cockatrice
78. Lemure
79. Solar
80. Deva
81. Cyclops
82. Centaur
83. Fire Elemental
84. Water Elemental
85. Air Elemental
86. Dinosaurs (All six of them)
87. Earth Elemental
88. Flying Sword
89. Crawling Claw