Best of the Beastiary, D&D

Faerie Dragon: A Neon Cat With Wings

Oh hey! Another dragon! Kind of! Cool!

This is the single least dangerous monster we’ve discussed so far. Hell, maybe even in the entire book! It’s so weak, in fact, that it’s pretty clear that you aren’t supposed to even fight it. Doing so would just be a waste of time and resources.

Is it a bad monster? Not by any means! In fact, I think it’s one of the better ones!

Lore: Scaly Tricksters

Four whole paragraphs! How refreshingly brief!

Faerie dragons are like the naughty kid on the playground. Always causing trouble, always a shit-eating grin on its face. That is, until someone punches them for being an asshole. Then they get upset, even if they totally deserved it.

A giggle is the only warning of their presence. They observe their victims invisibly, assailing them with pranks from a safe distance. It may reveal itself when it’s had its fun, depending on their victim’s disposition. Did they take the joke well? It might show up. Are they pissed? They might never know the culprit.

Despite their love for pranks, faerie dragons are friendly creatures. They have a fondness for treasure and sweets, as well as good company. If a group can match the dragon’s wry sense of humor, or offer it something tasty or valuable, they can gain safe passage through its territory or even information of the surrounding area.

The scales of a faerie dragon changes as it grows older. With each change, they gain all new magic spells. By the time it becomes a violet faerie dragon, the oldest of the lot, it will have a wide selection of troublesome, although weak, spells.

Although it does get polymorph. Which is… problematic.

This lore is perfect for a fun little non-combat oriented encounter. Want to give the players something fun to do without making them murder? Have a faerie dragon show up to fuck with them! Plus, you can give them some information if you want, making it an easy way to start new plotlines!

Can you make a whole questline out of it? With a bit of creativity and a few other monsters, maybe! But on its own? It isn’t an especially deep pool of lore. Fun, but not all that malleable.

Design: The Butterfly Dragon

I love this thing’s design so much! It just screams “CHAOS!!” and it puts a smile on my face!

It would be cute, if not for the muscles and that face.

The big element for me is the butterfly wings. It’s such a simple change from the usual scaly wings of a normal dragon. But it creates such a strong divide between them and this! You can immediately pick out a few things.

  • It is a magical creature, probably fey
  • It isn’t as dangerous as its larger counterparts
  • It’s more at home in lively forest areas than dark caves

You know. If the bright colors didn’t tell you any of that.

At the same time, however, it does have a dangerous edge to it. Small or not, fairy or not, this is still a dragon. Just look at the aforementioned face and muscles! This thing could very well defend itself, if need be.

Granted, it is only as large as a cat. You could still kill it pretty easily.

Stats: The Troll Dragon

I don’t mean like a troll, the monster. I mean like an internet troll. But in fantasy life.

Defense wise, this thing is basically a wet paper towel. The AC isn’t bad, but with an HP beneath 20? And no resistances? You wouldn’t need all that much time to kill it. It’s not a beefy monster.

So, how does it keep up? Simple! By being the trickiest motherfucker in this entire book!

Magic Resistance on its own is bad enough. But then you factor in its Limited Telepathy and Superior Invisibility. Not only will you not be able to see it, but it can mock you for not being able to cast magical effects on it! Actually finding the little bastard is a huge pain in the ass!

And then there are its spells.

  • Red scales, 1/day each: dancing lights, mage hand, minor illusion
  • Orange scales, 1/day: color spray
  • Yellow scales, 1/day: mirror image
  • Green scales, 1/day: suggestion
  • Blue scales, 1/day: major image
  • Indigo scales, 1/day: hallucinatory terrain
  • Violet scales, 1/day: polymorph

Do you know your players are assholes who will try to pick a fight with this thing? Make it a violet faerie dragon. Really piss ’em off.

Then there’s its breath ability, Euphoria Breath. This can take a few effects if the victim fails the saving throw (which isn’t hard, the DC is pretty low). They can either take no actions and move in a random direction, or do absolutely nothing. This thing can literally make you so high that you can’t do anything to defend yourself.

Oh yeah. It also has a bite attack. Which does 1 damage. Literally only 1. Which is the single weakest attack we’ve discussed so far. That’s not hyperbole, that is an actual fact. Which I find to be equal parts perplexing and hilarious.

You can tell that this isn’t a monster the players are meant to fight. It’s not powerful or dangerous. It’s just a mischievous little bastard. In all likelihood, it would be dead before the fight even started.

Though even the meanest party might take pity when they hear that it only does one damage. That, or they’ll really enjoy killing it. In the ladder case, maybe reconsider your choice in friends, cause they’re clearly psychotic.

Placement

This monster is so much damn fun! It is absolutely perfect for a quick, non-violent encounter! Do you want to point your players in the right direction? Maybe you just wanna fuck with ’em a bit? Either way, this monster is the perfect choice!

With all that in mind, let’s put the Faerie Dragon on the Best of the Bestiary!

  1. Beholder
  2. Death Tyrant
  3. Dragon Turtle
  4. Green Dragons
  5. Red Dragons
  6. Blue Dragons
  7. Black Dragons
  8. White Dragons
  9. Silver Dragons
  10. Couatl
  11. Behir
  12. Aboleth
  13. Bronze Dragons
  14. Brass Dragons
  15. Copper Dragons
  16. Gold Dragons
  17. Chuul
  18. Chimera
  19. Death Knight
  20. Bone Devil
  21. Dracolich
  22. Faerie Dragon <—————————-
  23. Ankheg
  24. Empyrean
  25. Drow (all four of ’em)
  26. Shadow Demon
  27. Marilith
  28. Drider
  29. Aarackockra
  30. Azer
  31. Demilich
  32. Spectator
  33. Cambion
  34. Animated Armor
  35. Banshee
  36. Basilisk
  37. Yochlol
  38. Bulette
  39. Cloaker
  40. Darkmantle
  41. Doppelganger
  42. Ettin
  43. Pit Fiend
  44. Erinyes
  45. Chain Devil
  46. Bearded Devil
  47. Barbed Devil
  48. Spined Devil
  49. Ice Devil
  50. Nalfeshnee
  51. Glabrezu
  52. Chasme
  53. Barlgura
  54. Horned Devil
  55. Balor
  56. Shadow Dragon
  57. Vrock
  58. Dretch
  59. Goristro
  60. Hezrou
  61. Manes
  62. Duergar
  63. Quasit
  64. Dryad
  65. Planetar
  66. Imp
  67. Displacer Beast
  68. Carrion Crawler
  69. Rug of Smothering
  70. Bugbear Chief
  71. Bugbear
  72. Vine Blight
  73. Twig Blight
  74. Needle Blight
  75. Bullywug
  76. Ettercap
  77. Cockatrice
  78. Lemure
  79. Solar
  80. Deva
  81. Cyclops
  82. Centaur
  83. Fire Elemental
  84. Water Elemental
  85. Air Elemental
  86. Dinosaurs (All six of them)
  87. Earth Elemental
  88. Flying Sword
  89. Crawling Claw

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