Well shit. I might have to get Disney+ now. But I probably won’t.
With the third phase behind us, the ‘Infinity Saga’ of the Marvel Cinematic Universe has come to a close. It was full of ups and downs, but I’d argue that it was far better than it was worse. But that’s all the past, and the past is behind us. Now, we must look to the future! And thanks to Marvel’s new roadmap, we know how things are going to look!
And it’s really fucking weird!
For those who haven’t seen the roadmap, let me fill you in. In terms of the films/shows we’re getting in phase four and beyond, these are the ones we currently know. They are:
- A Black Widow Prequel (are you happy now?)
- The Eternals
- The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (please just be a buddy-cop show!)
- Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings
- Doctor Strange 2: Doctor Stranger (current title: Multiverse of Madness)
- Natalie Portman becomes Thor (Thor: Love and Thunder)
- Wandavision (it took me far longer than I’d like to admit to figure out what that actually meant)
- Loki (because we gotta have Loki!)
- What If…?
- Hawkeye (even after Endgame, this guy apparently still doesn’t deserve an actual movie)
- Fantastic Four reboot (ugh…)
- Blade reboot (FUCK YES!!)
- Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 3 (I swear to god if that’s not called Asgardians of the Galaxy…)
- Captain Marvel sequel (can’t wait for another wave of controversy over a mediocre movie…)
- Black Panther 2 (yay…)
Sorry fellow Spidey fans. Looks like we’ll be waiting a while to see that Cliffhanger resolved. Don’t worry. We’ll all share in the suffering together!
Before anything else, I want to get this out of the way. Ready? Deep breath…
HOLY FUCKING SHIT THEY’RE BRINGING BLADE INTO THE MCU!!
I legitimately never thought this would happen! I fucking love Blade! He is easily one of my favorite comic book characters of all time! The original Blade movies, or at least the first two, are some of my favorite pre-MCU comic book movies, right alongside Hellboy! I actually adore this character!
And now he’s going to be in the MCU! I am so fucking happy right now!
Next: the Fantastic Four.
Honestly, I’m sick of these guys. I have faith that Marvel will be able to finally put them in a good movie, don’t get me wrong. And if we happen to get a great Doctor Doom out of it, I’d be even happier than I am about Blade coming back! They could open up a ton of fun possibilities for the MCU, including an adaptation of the Secret Wars!
But I’ve seen these guys get rebooted over and over again! I’m sick to death of it! And I’ll be just as sick of it when they come back!
I’ll probably still see it. But only if people say “This one is actually good!” Otherwise, this one can sit on the sidelines.
Just give me the X-Men already. But not Wolverine. Don’t drag him back.
Up next, the ones I know the least about: Shang-Chi and The Eternals!
I know literally nothing about either of these franchises! I hate to not contribute to the conversation, but I’ve literally never heard of these guys before now! Literally, the only thing I know about them is that The Mandarin is going to be in Shang Chi.
On the bright side: I won’t be going in with high hopes. I’ll go in with no hopes, not high or low. I just want to know what these are!
Going back to things I know, let’s talk about the Black Widow movie!
Why? Why do we need this? You dropped her off of a fucking cliff for god’s sake! You guys clearly don’t care about her, Marvel! Why should we?
I’m sure it’ll be fun. But I don’t particularly care. Especially since I know that it will likely be the last time we see the character.
And frankly, I never liked Black Widow to begin with. But you know who I do like? Hawkeye! And he’s getting a TV show!
This show is going to be all about what Hawkeye did between the events of ‘Infinity War’ and ‘Endgame’. Which can only mean one thing: lots of bow and arrow induced MURDER!! WHOOO!
I don’t think this one will have a whole lot of substance. Everything we needed to know about this point in the series is already known. I don’t see there being much of a plot aside from ‘Hawkeye goes here and kills this criminal group’. I’m sure it’ll be fun. But I don’t think it can last.
Much like the Loki show!
*Side note: fuck that logo. That logo looks legitimately awful. I don’t care what excuse you have. That looks like shit.
Remember when Loki took the Tesseract in ‘Endgame’? Well, Marvel sure did! Because now it’s getting spun-off into a whole show!
I honestly have no clue what they can do with this one. Loki is a decent character, so I have no doubt that it will be fun because of him. But as to what the story will be? I have no fucking clue!
Guess we’ll have to wait and see.
Most of the sequels are exactly what you’d expect. Oh, we’re getting another Doctor Strange! Look, we’re getting another Black Panther! Yawn. I don’t particularly care. But there is one that grabs my interest: Thor Love and Thunder!
I’m going to come out and say it: I don’t think Natalie Portman is a very good actress. I’ve seen her in numerous movies, and I never cared for her in any of them. She’s certainly attractive, but I can’t call her a good actress simply because I, as a young single man, enjoy looking at her.
But as the Female Thor? Which we have seen several times in several comics? You have my interest.
Also, that logo is fucking awesome. Just putting that out there. It gives me some ‘Dragon’s Lair’ flashbacks.
But that still doesn’t compare to the one show that catches my interest the most. The animated series: What If…?
What if scenarios are one of my favorite things as a fan of stuff. The goofier, the better. ‘What if Goku was evil?’, ‘What is Lex Luthor spent his fortune on charity rather than killing Superman’, ‘What if Michael Bay made good movies’, etc. And, as you may have noticed, I love animation!
Now, combine my love of animation, what-if scenarios, and the MCU and you get: the only real reason that I would even consider getting Disney+!
Because God knows it isn’t for the live-action remakes.
The future of Marvel is certainly a strange one. It remains to be seen if it is a good one. But if they keep up with the same quality that they have thus far, then I’m sure it will be, at the very least, fun.
The question is: how long can it last? The superhero genre is filled to bursting and then some! How much longer can the MCU last before it finally comes crashing down? Will phase four be the end? Or is it going to last for another whole saga?
Honestly? I don’t really care! I just want to know how the HELL THAT SPIDER-MAN CLIFFHANGER IS GOING TO BE RESOLVED, COME ON MARVEL!!