Daily Rant, Movie

Day 172: The Predator Franchise

Well, since that new Predator movie premiers in two weeks, I figured now would be a good time to ask a question that’s been plaguing my mind for years.

Who the hell keeps asking for new Predator movies?

Let’s be real, the only good Predator movie was the first one. It’s a classic Arnold Schwarzenegger action flick, featuring awesome special effects and action scenes, cheesy but lovable characters, and a unique and terrifyingly awesome monster in the Predator itself. All the pieces fell into place to make an excellent and fun movie.

What no one seemed to realize is that it was what we call ‘lighting in a bottle’.

No other Predator movie has come even close to being as good as the first one. Or good at all, for that matter. Predator 2 is hot garbage, and I actually forgot Predators existed until I did a little research for this post. Now we’re getting another reboot in ‘The Predator’.

Why? We’ve had two other chances to revive this franchise, and neither of them have worked. Why not just leave it alone at this point?

Even the crossovers featuring the Predator haven’t done super well. Alien VS Predator, while reasonably fun to watch, is a nonsensical mess with a poor story, poorer characters, and lackluster visuals. Is watching a human earn the respect of a Predator then hunt down a Xenomorph in a tag team fun? Oh fuck yeah. Is it good?

Not really.

Then we got Alien VS Predator 2 and… good god that movie is terrible. Whereas the first one was dumb but still fun, this one was just… fucking dreadful. Nothing was fun, nothing looked good, the script was awful, and… you get the point, nothing about that movie was good.

The Predator is such a hard thing to do right. How do you make a movie where humans fight a perfect killing machine and struggle to survive engaging without making it derivative of all other movies like it?

Looking at the track record, apparently you can’t. See point a: lightning in a bottle.

Could ‘The Predator’ be good? Yeah. It hasn’t come out yet, so I can’t judge it. Are the odds in it’s favor? Ha ha! NOPE! But I’d be happy to see it overcome the odds and become the second Predator movie to be actually good.

Maybe I’ll write a follow up review to this once the movie comes out. We’ll see.

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