Best of the Bestiary: Zombies (Monster Manual FINALE)

Zombies? On today of all days? What a fitting way for this to end.

Best of the Bestiary first started way back in 2019. I started it not too long after I moved into my first apartment. Since then, I’ve lost that apartment, several jobs, and moved to a completely different state. Throughout all of that, this series has carried on, one page at a time.

Now, today, it finally ends. Let’s make it a good one.

Lore: The Walking Dead

When a necromancer infuses a corpse with dark magic, a zombie rises to do their bidding. Most zombies are humanoid, but the bones of any living creature can be infused to create undeath. Some zombies rise on their own, should dark magic saturate the land. Once risen from death, only exceptionally powerful magic can restore them to true life. They retain no vestige of their previous life, existing entirely subserviently to their master. Without orders, they’ll simply wander about and kill. That, or they’ll stand stock still and rot.

Though they appear as they did in life, the wounds that killed them and the rot that ate away at them still show true. Dead warriors rise eviscerated and wounded, rotting corpses remain bloated, so on and so forth. They require no food, no rest, and no air.

Zombies are simple creatures, taking only the most direct route to their foes, completely unable to comprehend any obstacle in their path. Should they try to cross a river, they may end up swept away and crushed against the rocks all without realizing it. While they can follow simple orders and distinguish friend and foe, their reason is limited.

This lore is really underwhelming. It doesn’t do anything new or interesting. They’re just stock standard zombies like you’ve seen in just about every fantasy or zombie movie you’ve ever seen.

Design: Familiar Faces

I guess one rotting corpse wasn’t enough. Wizards of the Coast had to give us three!

I don’t really have anything to say about the basic zombie. It’s a zombie. You know what to expect. Boring.

The ogre zombie is a step up. It’s definitely a bit more unique than the previous. But it’s still just another zombie, albeit a larger one. Slightly less boring, but still.

The beholder zombie is definitely the best of the bunch. A powerful alien monster risen from the dead, its eyes rotting and falling away? It’s a marriage as brilliant as peanut butter and chocolate! This is the best one of the three.

Not that the bar was that high.

Stats: Rise Again… and Again

After Beek died, we cast an Animate Dead spell on his corpse. It was fun for a while, but the zombie started to smell real bad, so we doused it in oil and set it on fire. Beek would’ve found that hilarious.
Fonkin Hoddypeak, on friendship

Regular zombies are pretty standard enemies. They have a super low AC and HP pool, and their claws only do a measly 1d6 bludgeoning damage. And… that’s it.

Ogre zombies are exactly the same, but stronger. They’ve got the same AC, but more HP, and they do more damage with their morningstar. Definitely a step up, but not much of one.

Finally, there’s the beholder zombie. This is the strongest of the three by far (shocker, I know). Its AC is nearly twice as high and its HP is just shy of the triple-digit range. Not to mention its high damage bite attack.

Then there are its four eyes. They are:

Paralyzing Ray: targeted creature must succeed a Con save or be paralyzed; they can repeat the save each turn until they succeed
Fear Ray: targeted creature must succeed a Wis save or be frightened; they can repeat the save each turn until they succeed
Enervation Ray: targeted creature must succeed a Con save or take a high amount of necrotic damage; if they succeed, they still take half damage
Disintegration Ray: targeted creature must succeed a Dex save or take a high amount of force damage; if their HP reaches 0, their body disintegrates

Now, each of the three zombies has a shared ability called Undead Fortitude. Basically, if their HP drops to 0, they make a roll. If they roll higher than the amount of damage they took, they come back with 1 HP. If you want to put them down permanently, you’ll need a critical hit or deal radiant damage.

This one mechanic takes these enemies from undead copy-pastes and turns them into a sort of puzzle. How do you maximize your damage and keep them down? This makes for a great early-game challenge for the weaker zombies and a strong mid-game challenge with the beholder zombie. Still, the normal and ogre zombies are just too boring to be salvaged.

Placement

Overall, the zombies are kind of a lame note to end on. Their lore is super boring, their designs are generic, and the stats are simple and boring. The only exception is the beholder zombie, which is great, but its held back by all the others.

Now, for the last time, let’s put them on the list.

With all that in mind, the Zombies are going to #191 on the Best of the Bestiary!

I hope you enjoyed Best of the Bestiary. Maybe the series will return at some point or another. But for now, with the Monster Manual finally done, it feels like the right time to put it down. At least for now.

Thank you all so much for reading. Happy Halloween!

Beholder
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Mephits (all six of ’em)
Bullywug
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Homonculus
Zombies (all three of ’em) <———————————-
Merfolk
Solar
Deva
Gorgon
Hippogriff
Griffon
Will-O’-Wisp
Cyclops
Centaur
Ghost
Pegasus
Fire Elemental
Water Elemental
Air Elemental
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Stirge
Specter
Iron Golem
Stone Golem
Earth Elemental
Galeb Duhr
Helmed Horror
Flying Sword
Crawling Claw
Violet Fungus
Shrieker
Gargoyle