Daily Rant, Video Games

Day 236: My Favorite Side-Quests

Recently, I’ve been burning my way through NieR Automata, and good god that is a fucking good game! You can expect a full review of that as soon as I’m done with all three campaigns, but until then, I wanted to discuss my favorite part about the game thus far.

The side-quests.

Side-quests are easily my favorite activities in any RPG. Not only do they boost you up stat wise, making the main campaign a lot easier, but they’re a fun change of pace from the forty-to-eighty hours of main story. In a good game, I find the side-quests to be far better and more entertaining than the main quest.

So today, I wanted to discuss three of my personal favorites. And yes: there will be one from NieR Automata. I didn’t bring that one up for no reason. But I think I’ll save that one for last.

For now, let’s discuss my favorite Zelda quest: Fledge’s Workout from Skyward Sword.

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I love Skyward Sword. I won’t claim it’s the best Zelda game, but it’s my personal favorite. Yes, feel free to make fun of me for it. I’m used to it at this point.

While there are many reasons I love that game, the main reason is the characters. I love every one of them (yes, including Fi), from the most minor shopkeeper to the true hero of the story: Groose. But this quest is all about Fledge, the most scrawny and pathetic boy in the entire game.

See, if you sleep until night in Fledge’s room, you can find the boy flopping up and down, which he claims to be a push up. He says that he wants to improve himself, and that the first department he wants to improve is his physical ability. How could you not help him out in such a noble goal? But how can we help?

By giving him performance enhancing drugs, that’s how.

I’m not even fucking kidding. In order to clear this side-quest, you need to give Fledge three Stamina Potions on three separate occasions. After the third time, he becomes an exercise machine that burns through push-ups faster than I burn through Oreo’s.

That’s not a plug, I just really like Oreo’s.

After doing this, you unlock an archery mini-game that you can play for a piece of heart. It’s pretty easy to cheat it, but it still manages to piss me off. So the long-term pay off for this quest isn’t very good. I just think that the quest itself is really funny.

Much like the next quest on my little list: the fake Spider-Man from… PS4’s Spider-Man.

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This quest is really short, and really funny. See, as you’re swinging about New York, you’re called to by a grateful citizen, who thanks Spider-Man for saving his daughter. Confused, as he knows he didn’t do that, Spider-Man goes off to investigate. Diving further and further down the rabbit hole, he eventually finds a man dresses as Spider-Man, running around and helping people out in a not-at-all convincing Spidey suit.

Which confirms that both your average thug and average New-Yorker are complete fucking morons.

There really isn’t much to this quest. You run around town for a bit, then you fight some dudes, then it’s over. But watching this fake Spider-Man running around and saving people is both really funny and really heartwarming. It gives you the feeling that Spider-Man (the real one, in case it weren’t obvious) has a positive impact on the people around him. It shows that he is a true hero, because a true hero doesn’t just save people; he inspires others to be better.

Speaking of others inspiring others to be better, let’s talk about that NeiR Automata quest now: Father Servo.

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Father Servo is a Machine monk you can find on a roof top in the Ruined City. His quest boils down to a simple loop: kick his ass, give him materials for upgrades, wait for him to do so, then go back to step one. Each time, he gets stronger and stronger, eventually peaking at LVL 60. Once you defeat him for the final time, he accepts that he’s reached his peak and gives up on his life, self destructing.

Which is how a surprising number of these quests end.

While none of his fights are especially difficult, even if you’re cruelly under-leveled, it is pretty fun watching this little dude grow, both in size and power. Is it the best quest in the game? Probably not. But thus far, it’s the one I’ve enjoyed playing the most.

And that’s all of them. Well, not all of them. There are a ton of side-quests that I haven’t mentioned. But I’ll save those for another day. Feel free to tell me about your favorite side-quests. I love talking about these things, and I’m open for discussion.

Don’t worry. Next time we discuss this subject, we’ll talk about the best side-quest in all of video games.

The ‘Shoot Me in the Face’ guy from Borderlands.

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