Daily Rant, Video Games

Day 233: Smash Ultimate DLC Speculation

I’m still riding on the Smash Bros hype train, so I figured I’d just take a day and discuss the five characters I’d like to see in the future updates.

And I couldn’t think of anything else to talk about today.

Yesterday, the Smash Direct gave the announcement that there would be five characters released after the game, priced at around twenty-five U.S. dollars for all five. Each would have their own stage and collection of music packaged with their bundles. They are also confirmed to wholly new characters, though that doesn’t clarify whether or not they’ll be Echoes or not. I’ll be working under the assumption that they are not.

Now, with that being said, let’s get started with the obvious pick.

#1. Waluigi

SERIOUSLY HOW THE FUCK HAVE WE NOT GOTTEN HIM YET?! IF YOU CAN MAKE A MOVE SET FOR DAISY AND THE GOD DAMN PIRANHA PLANT, YOU CAN MAKE ONE FOR WALUIGI!! IS THERE NO JUSTICE IN THE MARIO UNIVERSE?!

LEGIT, WHY CAN’T WE HAVE WALUIGI RUNNING AROUND BASHING PEOPLE WITH A TENNIS RACKET?! HELL, YOU COULD MAKE HIS FINAL SMASH A MARIO PARTY REFERENCE!! HE COULD PULL OUT A DICE AND ROLL IT TO DECIDE YOUR FATE!! IT’D BE FUCKING AWESOME!!

CAPS LOCK MEANS I’M YELLING NOW!!

#2. Leon Kennedy (Resident Evil 4)

Considering that Capcom has given Nintendo access to both Mega-Man and Street Fighter, it isn’t too far a stretch of the imagination to say that they could give them Resident Evil as well. And considering that Snake is already in there, there isn’t a problem with having some dude run around and shooting Nintendo icons in the kneecaps.

Now, there are plenty of RE characters that could fit the bill. I only really chose Leon because that’s the one most people who haven’t played them know. Where I struggle with him is the move set: the only thing I can really think of is a Snake clone, but with different melee combos.

Though, for his Final Smash, you could give him the overpowered RPG that most RE games give you for beating them. It could create a huge amount of terror, having him run around with a rocket launcher and chasing you around the map.

I’d main him just for that.

#3. Sans (Undertale)

At this point, I just want the meme to be real. It’d be fucking stupid, but it’d be funny. And considering that Piranha Plant is going to be playable, I wouldn’t put it past Nintendo.

#4. Rhundas (Metroid Prime 3)

I’m actually really upset that we haven’t gotten this character yet. I mean, come on, he’s been around since the Wii. But hey! They’ve added two new characters from Metroid to Smash Ultimate. If it’s ever gonna happen, it should be now.

Rhundas could be one of the most unique and fun characters in the series. Having him run around and blasting people with huge pillars of ice would be fucking awesome! And since the only other characters that use ice based move is the Ice Climbers, he wouldn’t feel too derivative.

Unlike all the numerous sword fighters from Fire Emblem. On the subject…

#5. Hector (Fire Emblem GBA)

I just want an axe fighter in the game. I’m kind of sick of swordsmen. If you’re gonna give us someone with a weapon, then at least make it something new.

Do I expect any of these characters to be on the mark? Fuck no. If you’ve read any of these prediction posts, then you know that I’m about as accurate as a Stormtrooper covered in a smokescreen. Blindfolded. With his hands tied behind his back. And his eyes gouged out by a spork. While being tossed around in the jaws of a dragon.

I could keep going, but I think I’ll stop there. Feel free to let me know who you’d like to see. I always enjoy a good discussion.

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