ARCHIVE Day 30: Chill Out, Smash Fans

Everyone is here, huh? How come Waluigi ain’t here then?!

For those who remember my post about the Nintendo Direct, you’ll know that I’m a huge fan of the Super Smash Bros. games. And really, who isn’t? A competitive plat former/fighting game starring some of the biggest faces in video games? Sign me up!

And with the announcement of Smash 5 on the Switch, the most fun task of waiting for Smash has begun once again: speculating the cast. It’s stupid fun to talk with your friends about which characters you want in Smash and why. Hell, sometimes it’s just as fun as the game itself.

But it can go too far. A lot of people aren’t realistic with their choices. Some people stretch with even the most thin excuses for how their choice could happen.

Today, I’ll be going over three popular choices that I don’t think will or should happen.

The first, and most painful, is Sans from Undertale. Really, people? Just because a game has a port on a Nintendo device doesn’t mean the characters will immediately be put in Smash. Sure, it happened with Snake from Metal Gear because his game was ported to GameCube once, but it won’t happen for everyone. If that were the case, we would’ve had Batman in Smash 4 because Arkham City and Origins were ported to the Wii U.

Yeah, remember that?

The second is Goku from Dragon Ball. Seriously people? Chill out. A single tweet from Funimation does not mean he’ll be there. Besides, Goku doesn’t come from video games like everyone else in Smash. It just wouldn’t feel right to see him there. Especially since Dragon Ball Fighterz came out last month.

And the third, and least likely, is Sora from Kingdom Hearts. Really, people? Just getting Cloud was a miracle. But Sora is downright impossible. Between Disney and Square, Nintendo would need to fight harder than they could just to get the rights to the character’s name. Fun fact people, licensing is really complicated and a huge pain in the ass.

Don’t get me wrong. If these three ended up in Smash, I wouldn’t complain. In fact, I think I’d laugh my ass off. But let’s be realistic, okay? Our chances are highest with long lasting indie games, such as Shovel Knight and Shantae. Not a guarantee, mind you, but they do have higher chances considering their long history with Nintendo.

But let’s be real: Waluigi or nothing.

*Note from current Jonah* HAHAHAHAHA I GUESS IT’S NOTHING!!

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