ARCHIVE Day 22: My Addiction to the Warriors Games

Reminder: This Game Sucks!

Today, let’s talk about some of my favorite, yet least favorite, types of games: the Warrior games.

For those of you who don’t know, the Warrior games are simple hack and slash level based RPG’s. You take control of one of many differing characters, depending on the game, and cut your way through hundreds to thousands of little grunt dudes until their commander is dead at your feet.

Simple, right? Well, the rest of the world agrees. In fact, this style is so simple and fun that it has become the basis of several spinoffs.

These include: Hyrule Warriors, the Zelda spinoff, One Piece: Pirate Warriors, the One Piece games (yeah, there were 3 of those) Fire Emblem: Warriors, Mobile Suit Gundam, and even Berserk. All of these feature tons of characters (well, Berserk has 8, but you get what I’m saying), many different levels and hundreds of collectibles.

Sounds good so far, right? It’s simple repetitive fun that you could even play co-op if you wanted. What’s the problem?

Answer: 100% completion.

If you’re like me, and you want to complete games 100%, then these games will keep you busy for a long fucking time. Why? Because you need to grind every character to that game’s level cap (which constantly rises with the release of DLC content), unlock their every ability through the in game progression systems, and beat every level in every mode with an A/S rank, depending on which one is higher.

Did I mention that there are hundreds of levels per game? And they’re a lot of them are really fucking hard?!

That’s all the base game, by the way. A lot of these games have DLC, which adds more levels, more characters, more items to collect, and ups the difficulty even further. And you still need to get that coveted A/S rank for every god damn level.

If you want to complete these games, DLC and all, 100%, it could very well take you over 500 hours of grinding, upgrading, and doing every level over and over again.

So why do I keep playing these if I hate them so much? Again, the answer is simple.

I can’t quit. These games are my fucking drug. I’ve sunk well over 350 hours into Hyrule Warriors alone, and I’m fast approaching the same numbers with Fire Emblem and Berserk.

And guess what? Hyrule Warriors is being released on Switch.

Which means I get to do it all again.

Fucking kill me.

Thanks for reading, and have a lovely day.

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