Daily Rant, Godzilla-Thon

Day 141: Godzilla 2014

Allow me to summarize your average viewing experience of Godzilla 2014.

“Oh man that was fucking awesome! Did you see that?! He like, smashed him into a building and shit-”

Five minutes later:

“*snore* Oh! Right, watching a… movie… *snore*…”

Never before have I watched a movie that tiptoed the line between really awesome and faithful and boring at the same time. But you have to give the movie credit where it’s deserved…

It also made the Japanese get up and make another Godzilla movie. And then we got Shin Godzilla, which is the best one.

(Quick note, I won’t be talking about Shin Godzilla as that’s the one that started the Godzilla-Thon in the first place, so I’ll just be jumping straight to the Netflix animated movies).

All joking aside, this movie is pretty alright. It’s a much more faithful American film than ’98 was (granted, a pineapple on a fencepost is a more faithful to the iconic series than ’98 was, but still) and it did tons of cool stuff with the character of Godzilla.

Like this.


Plus, this Godzilla’s design is actually pretty cool. It’s faithful to the original series, but different enough to make him stand out. On top of that, the special effects are more than good enough to sell him, both in appearance and in size.


His roar is also cool. It feels very Godzilla while being incredibly different from every other iteration of it we’ve seen so far. It sounds cool, which only adds to him looking cool. Overall, this Godzilla is pretty cool, and a worthy addition to the lineup.

Godzilla aside, the new monsters introduced in this movie, the MUTO (y’know, the things that Godzilla melt from the inside out in the above image of the Atomic Breath), are pretty good too. Having a male and a female is pretty unique, and having them threaten to wipe out the Earth just by breeding is pretty cool. Plus, the differences in their abilities combine to make a truly worthy pair of adversaries for the King of the Monsters.


Still, I don’t super love these guys. Their designs are pretty boring and generic, which makes them so much harder to remember. Ultimately, I remember the concept of them far more than the actual monsters.

I also remember their deaths far more, but that’s beside the point.

Now, let’s address the controversy. Yes, a Godzilla movie was controversial. Many people consider this movie to be pretty bad due to the utter lack of Godzilla’s presence in the film, the boring human characters and the overabundance of the MUTO. Plus, the military’s plan to destroy the monsters is pretty… dumb and bad. It’s a bad plan, guys. Like, really bad.

And they’re right. The movie doesn’t have a lot of Godzilla, the humans are boring, the MUTO are there way more than Godzilla, and the plan is super dumb. All of these points are completely valid. But let me ask you this:

Have you ever seen a Godzilla movie?

That’s what these movies are. They’re about human characters of varying likability and memorability struggling to survive in the same world as these godly and gigantic monsters. If you’ll recall, the movies that actually focus on Godzilla, such as All Monsters Attack, are pretty bad.

Still, these elements could’ve been improved. Brian Cranston’s character was infinitely more interesting than his boring son Ford, and he was killed off in the first thirty minutes!

Oh yeah, spoilers I guess.

Still, this movie isn’t terrible. It’s just kind of boring. But if you want to be caught up for Godzilla: King of the Monsters in 2019 (which does look sick as hell) you should definitely give this one a watch.

If not to just make your nap much easier.

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