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ARCHIVE Day 5: Pedestrian Stories

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You know what? Let’s make Day 5 a story time day. I know some of these aren’t very interesting out of context, but I simply wanted to immortalize them somewhere.

With that in mind, let’s begin.

People are… interesting to say the least.

Fun fact about me to prefice these stories, I decided not to drive a while back, so I just walk everywhere. Inefficient, but it keeps me fit. But because of this, I’ve had a lot of interesting pedestrian stories.

Well, I think they’re interesting at least.

Such as this one time about three years ago. I was on my way home from school during April, I think. The heat was the worst it had been all year, and I lived up several large hills, so I was already tired and teeming with sweat. Then, out of quite literally nowhere, a woman about two years older than me drives by, leans out her window, and yells at me “Nice ass!” at the top of her lungs.

I mean thanks, but with all due respect, you have shit taste if you think my ass is even remotely ‘nice’.

On the subject of my appearance, let’s fast forward to about a month ago. I was on my way to a job interview not too far from my apartment. Naturally, I was dressed my best: a nice white shirt, dress pants, and my nicest shoes. I would’ve combed my hair, but I don’t exactly have much to work with, so I left it be. Then, as I was crossing the street, a man on a skateboard rolled past me, laughed deep in his throat, stares at me and says (and I quote) ‘Heh heh, Imma goin bald!’

The best part was, shortly after saying that, he tripped off of his board and his hat fell off, revealing his completely smooth and hairless scalp.

Then again, about two weeks ago, I was on my way back to my apartment after having completed orientation at my new job. It had just finished snowing, so just getting across the street was a trial. Then, again out of nowhere, a man in a car leans out his window, looks me dead in the eye, and screams a certain n-word with a lot of history.

Why? Who? Fuck if I know. Fuck if I care.

But my personal favorite happened just tonight. After completing my first day at my new job, I grabbed a drink and made my way home. The quiet of the night was quickly broken by wailing sirens, and several police cars rolled past about a block away. Curious but indifferent, I simply kept my course. Luckily for my curiosity, the cars had parked just a few blocks away from me. As I passed, I noticed three men: two of them cops, and the third handcuffed on the ground.

A drug bust? An interrogation? To me, it looked like both.

As I passed, the man on the ground looked up and saw me. Nervous, but still eager to be polite, I gave him a small wave and carried on. Honestly, I didn’t expect any sort of response. But this man, with his hands cuffed behind his back, surpassed my expectations. He looked up at the officers, said ‘One second, sir’ then leaned forward, pushing his arms high into the air, and gives me a big thumbs up before continuing his conversation with the police men.

And people wonder why I walk everywhere.

Thanks for reading, and have a lovely day.

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