Best of the Beastiary, D&D

Flumph: *Uncontrollable Chuckling* That’s a Funny Name

Trust a Flumph.

X the Mystic’s 1st Rule of Dungeon Survival

I want to know how this monster came to exist. Was someone on the staff super drunk and/or stoned? Or did they just put a paper and crayons in front of their kids and say “Draw me a new monster or daddy can’t pay for food this month.”

Either way, I’m mildly grateful. But only milldly.

Lore: The Only Parasite That’ll Betray Their Host

While a Flumph resembles a floating, glowing jellyfish, they’re actually highly intelligent, possessing knowledge of ancient religion, philosophy, mathematics, and other such subjects. Their psychic abilities make them keen to the emotions of others. While they are drawn to positivity, they flee from evil.

They feed off of mental energy. Their often found feeding off of monsters like mind flayers, aboleths, githyanki, and githzerai. As passive parasites, they’re often unnoticed by those they feed on. However, the good nature flumphs are often frightened by the negative thoughts they consume. Thus, when a positive source of food appears, they’ll share the information in hopes of getting assistance in destroying them, even if it means finding a new source to feed on.

Flumphs live in cloisters with each other. They won’t designate their leader. Each one contributes in their own way and communicates harmoniously, making it easy to make do without one.

The lore here is pretty fun! You can very easily write a compelling questline with this. Maybe the party could stumble into a cloister while struggling against some kind of threat. Or perhaps the Flumph could seek them out for help, marking the beginning of this quest. Hell, you could do the opposite if you’re running an evil campaign!

Which is where you’re really gonna get utility out of this thing, let’s be real.

Design: Why’d You Give a Jellyfish Eyes? And a Mouth? Is that a mouth? I think it’s a mouth. We’ll call it a mouth.

I can’t decide if this is cute or horrifying

I’m honestly not sure what to think about this design. Like… it’s certainly unique. A floating jellyfish with eyeballs? Yeah, that’s certainly something new.

But it doesn’t do a whole lot for me in terms of a story. Tell me: what part of this says “psychic parasite” to you? It looks like a filler monster you’d find in a seaside setting. Not something you’d find in the Underdark.

Like… maybe if it were a floating brain or something like that. But a jellyfish? I don’t really get it. That’s not even a parasitic creature!

At least, I don’t think it is. Hold on… *goes to Google* No, I’m right. Kind of.

Stats: If You’re Fighting One of These, You’re a Bad Man

Wow. Challenge level 1/8. I think that’s a new one!

This thing is basically a joke. Sure, you can’t read its mind. But when it literally has to make a save to avoid being incapacitated when they’re knocked prone? You’re dealing with a gag.

Also, if you hit it with psychic? You win. Its HP is so low that you won’t even need to roll.

Its attacks are slightly more threatening. Its damage isn’t super menacing, but the extra potential acid damage can help. Unfortunately, the DC is so low that the player would more than likely succeed.

But what about its unique attack, Stench Spray? Well… it can poison the victim. And… yeah, that’s it. Helpful for a quick getaway! Not so much for a compelling fight.

Which, again: you’re really not meant to fight this thing. Unless you’re a bad man.

Placement

The flumph is a monster that gets less fun the further down the page you get. It has a fun name and decent lore! And its design, while not very effective, is certainly unique. But you can’t really make a fun combat encounter out of it.

With all that in mind, let’s put the Flumph on the Best of the Bestiary!

  1. Beholder
  2. Death Tyrant
  3. Dragon Turtle
  4. Green Dragons
  5. Red Dragons
  6. Blue Dragons
  7. Black Dragons
  8. White Dragons
  9. Silver Dragons
  10. Couatl
  11. Behir
  12. Aboleth
  13. Bronze Dragons
  14. Brass Dragons
  15. Copper Dragons
  16. Gold Dragons
  17. Chuul
  18. Chimera
  19. Death Knight
  20. Bone Devil
  21. Dracolich
  22. Faerie Dragon
  23. Ankheg
  24. Empyrean
  25. Drow (all four of ’em)
  26. Shadow Demon
  27. Marilith
  28. Drider
  29. Aarackockra
  30. Azer
  31. Demilich
  32. Spectator
  33. Cambion
  34. Animated Armor
  35. Banshee
  36. Basilisk
  37. Yochlol
  38. Bulette
  39. Cloaker
  40. Darkmantle
  41. Doppelganger
  42. Ettin
  43. Pit Fiend
  44. Erinyes
  45. Chain Devil
  46. Bearded Devil
  47. Barbed Devil
  48. Spined Devil
  49. Ice Devil
  50. Nalfeshnee
  51. Glabrezu
  52. Chasme
  53. Barlgura
  54. Horned Devil
  55. Balor
  56. Shadow Dragon
  57. Vrock
  58. Dretch
  59. Goristro
  60. Hezrou
  61. Manes
  62. Duergar
  63. Quasit
  64. Dryad
  65. Flumph <———————-
  66. Planetar
  67. Imp
  68. Flameskull
  69. Displacer Beast
  70. Carrion Crawler
  71. Rug of Smothering
  72. Bugbear Chief
  73. Bugbear
  74. Vine Blight
  75. Twig Blight
  76. Needle Blight
  77. Bullywug
  78. Ettercap
  79. Cockatrice
  80. Lemure
  81. Solar
  82. Deva
  83. Cyclops
  84. Centaur
  85. Fire Elemental
  86. Water Elemental
  87. Air Elemental
  88. Dinosaurs (All six of them)
  89. Earth Elemental
  90. Flying Sword
  91. Crawling Claw

2 thoughts on “Flumph: *Uncontrollable Chuckling* That’s a Funny Name”

  1. Yeah, from the (original) Fiend Folio onwards… (A)D&D monsters got, let’s just say interesting. You could see where, sometimes, they were desperate for something! Anything!

    Yeah, I’m old. I remember when the original Fiend Folio hit the shelves. Not that we could buy it off the shelves… In our small Bible-belt city, it was almost all mail order back in those days! The one store that carried RPG stuff stocked up basically once a year. Well, George did that for everything… He was an interesting character.

    Liked by 1 person

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